Fixing the Problem
by ColourBlonde
Summary: Amelia and Pam decide that Eric and Sookie need to figure things out and admit their feelings. So they take drastic measures to make them see things through each other's eyes...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This is my first SVM fanfic and first fanfic in about 5 years. I used to write Alias fanfics under a different username and did a similar story to this one with the characters from that show. Though that one was much more fluffy.

As a warning, I will say that this story follows the books, definitely up to 8 with some aspects of 9 as well. But I don't believe I'll mention the fairy war, or Tray's death or anything like that. I also haven't read the books in a while so if I mess anything up that I mention, forgive me. Also, I don't have a beta so any mistakes are my own.

It's pretty light hearted at times but still some angst and OOC quite a bit, but some in character as well. It will hopefully make sense.

I don't own anyone or anything (except my fantasies) - give credit where credit is due to Ms. Charlaine Harris and her genius.

I hope you enjoy it!

**Fixing the Problem**

**Sookie's POV**

_'__I have no idea.'_

That's what I kept coming up with whenever I thought about what was real.

_'__Do I love him? Or do I just 'like' him. Do I even really 'like' him or do I like him because he's making me? Does he even really like me or does he like me because I like him? Does he love me?'_

I was confusing myself with my stream of thoughts, which did not make my drive home from the night shift at Merlotte's an easy one.

'_Alright Sookie,_' I told myself. '_You have to figure this out. You're driving yourself crazy!'_

I had tried to talk to Amelia about what I was going through, but she just focused on Eric's attractiveness and repeatedly insisted that "Of course you love him you dumbass!"

'_But do I really love him? Or if I do love him is it the bond making me love him?'_

See the problem?

So I set down to try to figure this out the old fashioned way: a pro/con list. When I got home (mumbling hello to Amelia) I put pen to paper.

Pros:

His world class backside.

His gracious plenty.

His gorgeous body.

His brilliant blue eyes.

His luscious long blonde hair.

6'5" of pure stud.

Alright, I was working myself into a tizzy. I felt myself becoming flustered by thinking of the physical aspects that I rather enjoyed about my sexy Viking.

He is a sexy Viking. Added to the list.

'_Alright Sookie. Looks can only do so much. A relationship should be based on much more than just the physical aspect of a person. No matter how brilliant the physical aspect is.'_

And to top off all the confusion, what does he really think of me? Does he really even care about me or does he just want sex and a feed on a regular basis from his part fae lover. Would he want me if I didn't have fairy blood? Would he care if I weren't a telepath? Does he just want me because of my so called 'gift'? Does he just want me around so that nobody else can have me? How long does he want to keep me around?

Well, those were cons.

This was going to be a very long list.

***

**Eric's POV**

'_God she is infuriating.'_

I honestly sometimes do not know why I want her around. I mean, yes there are reasons I enjoy her, but are they real? Her brilliant breasts certainly are. Her amazing curves. And her blue eyes. And her long blonde hair. Her innocent smile. Her fairy blood.

I felt myself becoming aroused as I thought of Sookie's physical charms. The fact that she did not realize how appealing she really was added to the appeal. She thought her fairy blood was what made her appealing to vampires, and in some ways it did increase her attractiveness, but she is gorgeous on her own. And it is not just supernatural creatures that notice. And the fact that she does notice her appeal is unbelievable but adding to her charms.

I tried not to think about her as I sat on my Fangtasia throne, amusing the filth that got their kicks from being here. But my mind would not cooperate.

'_She refuses to trust you. She refuses to let you into her life. She refuses to deal with any issues. She refuses to love you. She refuses to stay.'_

I am not a man used to chasing what I want. I want it, I get it. End of story. The chase of Sookie Stackhouse was amusing at first but now as infuriating as the FotS is. And it made me doubt my feelings for her. What about her was really so special?

'_Could I really love her? Or do I just 'like' her. Can vampires even love? Or do I even really care about her all that much? Do I just want her as an asset? Or do I just want to keep her from everybody else?'_

I ignored the fangbanger that was clutching at my shoes, too lost in thought.

Pam had been enjoying teasing me to no end about the dilemmas. She was not used to seeing me face a female challenge that I could not eventually conquer. She liked Sookie, more than she cared to admit. She was very insistent that I loved her. I usually ignored her while she claimed "you love the telepath. You just do not care to admit the full extent of your feelings to yourself or to her." Pam's love of Dear Abby columns led her to assume she knew everything. "You are bad for business while you worry over 'feelings'." She would spit out the last word as though it were mud on her favourite Christian Louboutin pumps.

My child was of no help in this dilemma.

I finally kicked the fangbanger from my shoes and started to break out of my reverie, focusing on the club. But thoughts of my fairy telepath and what I could feel (I hate feelings) continued to peek into my head.

***

**Amelia's POV**

Pam had just left to head to Fangtasia, since we knew Sookie was on her way home and Eric would eventually get his ass in gear and do about 20 minutes of his job and amuse the fangbangers. We had been working for a few days on the plan.

We were both so damn sick and tired of how they were acting. The distractions. The unwillingness to admit what we knew to be true. Not doing their jobs properly (Sookie didn't realize how often she was distracted at work. Sam was concerned).

It needed to end.

Pam came to me on Monday, her night off from Fangtasia.

"Witch, we have a problem."

"Come on in, Vampire," I replied, letting her into the house.

"Sookie is not home, I trust."

"She works until 1. And I agree, we have a problem."

"Eric has been extremely bad for business lately. He hasn't even been scaring the vermin from his boots. And that's when he actually leaves his office to entertain."

"Sookie has been dazed and distracted. She's been late for work a couple of times and people are noticing that something is off."

"We need to fix this," Pam stated simply.

"Why can't they just admit their feelings and get it over with it, move in together, have kinky vampire sex again, accept their bond and pledging and live happily ever after?"

We spent 3 hours that night discussing the problem and ways we have to fix it. As we had both tried the obvious route of 'talking' things through with our counterparts, we knew we'd have to be more drastic.

At the end of our first night's discussion we were both smiling.

We spent the next couple nights doing research to make our plan happen. I was going to have to do some pretty strong magic, but considering magic I had done by accident *coughBOBcough* we knew I could do it.

We had even contacted Sookie's great grandfather Naill the next night to help us out with the magic required. While not a fan of vampires, he knew that Eric was really a good man who cared for Sookie and made her happy and wanted to get her out of her 'funk'. He was impressed with our plan and was very happy to help out.

Tonight though, we were both giddy. Well, Pam was as giddy as she could possibly be, which meant she smiled without fang. Just after dawn, while they were both sleeping, it would happen.

There would be a switcheroo.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: from here on for a while Eric and Sookie will be more out of character as, well, they are out of character. It will also be a bit more light hearted. I apologize if this annoys people, but this story is all in fun and not meant to be a 'dark' and 'serious' piece. Also, I still own nothing except my TV, computer, clothing, toiletries, food, etc. Nothing exciting. No Erics, Jasons, Hoyts or anything of the sort hiding in my closet (dang).**

**Eric's POV**

When I woke up from my slumber I stretched out in my bed.

'_This is not my bed,'_ I thought, as I reached the sides of it too easily with my arms. My bed was much larger than this.

'_Did I go home with a fangbanger and forget?'_ But that could not be it. I never stayed during the day at a fangbanger's home. And I never forgot. I most certainly never woke feeling as hungry as I felt at this moment. And even more important, I had not been with a fangbanger in a few weeks, since Sookie was occupying my mind constantly and I did not want to upset her.

Suddenly I had the oddest and most overwhelming urge. One I hadn't felt in a millennium. '_Must urinate.'_

Confused, I sat up in the strange bed and stretched again. I finally looked around the room. '_This is Sookie's room!'_ I thought excitedly. '_Did Sookie finally yield to me? Did we finally talk? Why can I not remember anything?'_

I got out of the bed, and very distractedly made my way to the washroom. As I walked through the bathroom I half glanced in the mirror, not paying attention, on my way to the shower, oh the memories of that shower.

When I was reaching for the nozzles of the shower I snapped my head back to the mirror. I stared at what I saw there.

'_What the fuck?!?!?!'_

Long blonde hair (complete with bed head).

Blue eyes.

Gorgeous facial structure.

Those were things I was used to seeing each day in the mirror, but today they were not my features. I kept looking at the reflection.

Tanned skin.

Soft curved neck.

Narrow shoulders.

Ample breasts under a tight tank top.

I touched my lips. The reflection did the same.

I ran a hand through my hair. The reflection did the same.

I tilted my head from side to side. The reflection did the same.

I grabbed the breasts. The reflection did the same.

'_What the fuck?'_

I had seen some odd things in my 1000 years, but my appearance had never changed. I stumbled backwards out of the washroom and back into the bedroom, looking around in a daze. It was then that I noticed the sunlight streaming in through the window.

I yelped out, almost screaming and pulled the blankets from the bed over myself.

'_I do not feel any pain,'_ I thought. '_What the HELL is going on?'_

I slowly and cautiously removed the blankets until I was standing with them pooled at my feet. I was out in the daylight.

'_Why do I look like my Sookie and why am I in her house during daytime hours, not burning, nonetheless?'_

I saw Sookie's red cell phone sitting by the bed and reached for it, dialling Pam's number. Of course it went to voicemail. I snapped the phone shut and looked around me again.

Thinking of where I was I called out "Witch...?" I was surprised to find that I also possessed Sookie's voice. There was no answer. "Witch? Amelia?" I tried again. Still no answer.

"Fuck," I muttered (it sounded weird coming from Sookie's usually pure speaking mouth).

I looked around at a loss of what to do when one nagging thought was poking into my head repeatedly.

'_MUST urinate!'_

So for the first time in 1000 years I took care of human business. It was extremely odd to urinate for the first time in so long. And as a woman nonetheless.

"Ouch!" I yelped suddenly, as I flushed the toilet, knowing that this was custom. I bent over and clutched below my stomach. I had intense pain suddenly present itself in my lower abdomen. I was not used to such pain being presented without the use of silver.

I took a few deep breaths. I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was breathing and spent a few minutes just enjoying the feel of air entering and escaping my body. After those few minutes the pain dulled.

I stood straight and made my way to the kitchen (still ducking when I would see windows before realizing I was fine). "Witch?" I called again for good measure, knowing there would be no answer. I was mildly curious as to her whereabouts but did not want to focus my attentions on it.

I looked at the clock on the microwave and saw that it was 10:14am. I was still having difficulty understanding my ability to be out during the daylight. I looked around the kitchen at a complete loss of what to do with myself.

Hunger pangs were making themselves known to my body so I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of True Blood, putting it in the microwave. As it heated up for 15 seconds I thought about the situation at hand. In a daze I took the bottle out of the microwave and shook it thoroughly to eliminate hot spots, before taking a big gulp.

I spat it out all over the kitchen. It was the vilest and most disgusting thing I had ever tasted. Even more so than usual. I looked at the bottle, confused and shook it again before taking another gulp and again, I spat it out.

I checked the expiry date and saw that it was still good for another few weeks. I put the bottle down on the counter and took a breath. I was hungry but I couldn't eat. What the fuck was going on? And to top it off that nasty pain was back. I held my hand over the offensive area and took more deep breaths.

While taking a breath I got a big whiff of coffee in the pot. It smelled delicious.

'_Should I try some? If I look like Sookie and sound like Sookie, perhaps I eat like Sookie?'_

I tentatively poured myself a cup of coffee. I knew that Sookie took hers with cream and sugar so I prepared it in that manner. Readying myself I took a small sip.

It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted.

I gulped down as much as I could in each mouthful as I opened the refrigerator and took a look around. I was going to attempt to eat human food. I had not prepared anything too difficult in the past, so I opted for a bagel. I did know how to work the toaster. I finished my cup of coffee and poured another while the bagel toasted and readied myself for a bite when it popped.

I changed my mind. The bagel was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. I practically inhaled it before eating two more, adding butter to one and cream cheese to the other.

I looked through the refrigerator and took out and ate as much of the food as I could. It was the most glorious meal of my life.

I wondered what Sookie would do next in her free time and I felt a smile cross across her beautiful features. It looked sunny outside and I knew she would take full advantage of that by sun bathing. I knew I should be figuring out what happened and how to fix it, but the opportunity to experience the sun for the first time in 1000 years was overwhelming.

Though I could not do so at vampire speed in my current state, I ran back to Sookie's room and stripped off the clothes I had on while looking through her drawer for a bathing suit. I myself would have gone naked, but Sookie was far too modest for that. I also knew she occasionally had unexpected visitors, such as admirers, her great grandfather and her brother, though they weren't exactly on the best of terms. It was the suitors I was more worried about. I did not want anyone besides myself to have the satisfaction of seeing Sookie naked.

I suddenly had a realization: '_I am Sookie and I am naked.'_

I might not look like one, but I was still a vampire in my mind and personality. I had not been with anyone in a few weeks. And I most certainly had not seen Sookie naked in a few weeks. I felt my arousal immediately.

I smiled mischievously and lay down on Sookie's bed and did to her body things I had wanted to do with my hands to her for weeks.

When I was done, and had marvelled at the female orgasm, I removed my hand and gasped in shock.

It was covered in blood.

**A/N: I know Eric is very out of character here – he would have immediately thought of how to rectify the situation, but I figure the story wouldn't be as fun that way, plus, the opportunity to eat and enjoy the sun is something I like to think he would take, also it would be a bit overwhelming, don't you think?. Don't worry, he'll start to use his head more next time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: **I just want to say thank you for all the amazing reviews. I'm glad you guys are liking the fun aspect of it. I'm also pleased with the reaction to Eric's personality, which was hard to write because I wanted him to be Eric-like but un-Eric at the same time. There have also been some questions/ideas about things that could happen... all I can say is wait and see and I may include some of them.**

**We're not quite at a Sookie chapter yet, since it's still early in the day, so you're stuck with more Eric-as-Sookie for the time being, but with a bit of Amelia as well. Enjoy!**

**And I still own nothing; though I did buy some cute pumps recently... (I think Pam would love them. Eric too, but in a different way.)**

*******

**Amelia's POV**

I had left the house at about 7am, setting the coffee maker to start brewing at about 9:30. Sookie always loved waking up to fresh brewed coffee. And it might help ease the wrath if the plan worked.

And if the plan did work, I did not want to be around Eric when he figured out what was going on, so I headed to Tray's. I just informed Tray that I didn't want to be at home with Sookie's issues today, which was close enough to the truth. Pam, Niall and I wanted to keep as few people as possible out of this so that Eric and Sookie could do this on their own without people influencing them.

A part of me, a really big part, wanted to be there though. I would have loved to see Eric's reactions when he woke up and tried to figure everything out and feel life as a human. A human woman! It would have been extremely amusing.

An even larger part of me felt horrible for doing this to him though. He and I weren't exactly best friends, but he was going to be teased with things he had not experienced in over 1000 years. Simple things like breathing to remain alive would be novel to him. Heck, actually **being** alive would be an unusual. But also things like eating food and enjoying the sun. He would get to experience them and then have them taken away when this was all sorted out. It was like cruel punishment because Pam and I were impatient. I just hoped the ends justified the means.

It was not all my idea though. When Pam and I were discussing options we both just wanted them to be able to see how the other felt about them. See how they affected each other and their decisions. They would never admit to each other those things so they needed to experience them. So that first night I casually stated, "It would be so amazing if they could live in each other's shoes, just until they understood."

Pam had looked at me with a glint in her eye, "Why can't they?"

"Why can't they what?" I replied, not following.

"Are you not a witch?" When I nodded, confused, she continued, "And have you not previously experimented with and been successful with transfiguration?"

"I did change Bob into a cat," I said, embarrassed, "but that was an accident and I couldn't change him back! You can't honestly be suggesting..."

"That we have Sookie and Eric switch places," she interrupted me, "Yes I am."

"That requires more powerful magic that I have ever done, Pam. Even more powerful than the Bob incident. And like I said, I couldn't fix things! Bob was a cat for months, and I needed help to turn him back. These are people we're talking about here. Sookie is my best friend and Eric is..."

"I'm aware of the situation," she snapped, "but it does seem like this could be an excellent option for rectifying things, and amusement to us while they go about it." Leave it to Pam to think of her own amusement rather than the safety of those most important to us.

"There is no option if we can't fix things in the end."

Pam had her cell phone out and dialled. Soon a beautiful older man was sitting in the kitchen.

"Hello Niall," Pam said to the fairy.

Niall was aware of the difficulties that Sookie and Eric were experiencing. He was not happy that his great granddaughter was so conflicted, especially over a vampire. He was also unhappy about how this situation was affecting Eric as he respected Eric for a vampire and did not want to fight him if Sookie was hurt in any way. He did not want to start another vampire/fairy war.

I explained to the fairy what Pam was thinking of doing to try to fix the situation and also explained that I had never attempted such a thing (at least not exactly the same, and not on purpose.)

Niall just smiled. "I think it is a brilliant idea," he said, "and I will help in any way that I can."

**

I had spent the next few days doing as much research as I could on transfiguration, even contacting Octavia for her input. She was hesitant, but knowing the situation she imparted any knowledge she had that could help us out. Niall met with us last night to add his input and some of his magic to the scenario.

I was confident that things had gone well but was so excited and anxious that I could not hold off any longer. I had to know if it worked.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 11:30. Figuring that if it were Sookie she would be up I picked up the phone and dialled her cell phone; hoping for the best.

***

**Eric's POV**

I stared at Sookie's blood covered hand in shock and experienced a myriad of emotions. I was at first shocked by my lack of blood lust, since I was normally completely intoxicated by her blood. I then became worried.

I did not feel any cuts or injuries and did not have any pain (other than the nagging pain that had been bothering me since I'd been up) nothing that could account for the blood.

'_Sookie, I am very sorry if I have damaged you_' I thought, regretfully, and also felt regret that my first thought had been about blood lust, not about my bonded's safety.

I went to the washroom to wash the bloody hand and to ready the shower when I heard Sookie's cell phone ring. I paused, debating whether to answer. I looked at the phone and saw that it was Amelia.

'_Maybe she can help me with this blood problem. Maybe she knows why I'm in Sookie's body in a non-sexual manner.' _Suddenly something snapped in me and I mentally berated myself for not coming to this conclusion immediately.

"WITCH!!!" I hollered as I answered her phone.

I heard a sharp intake of breath as she took in the anger.

"Um, hi Sookie?"

"Do not dare to 'um, hi Sookie' me, Witch," I hissed.

"Is something wrong?" Amelia asked in a small voice, fear hiding there.

"Something sure as hell is wrong," I growled, "And I want an explanation."

"What is wrong?" She asked, as though she did not know.

I took a deep breath, knowing that calmness would get this over and done with in a much quicker manner.

"Well, I just do not seem to be myself today," I stated, tensely. I did not want to come out and say 'I'm Eric and I'm somehow trapped in my bonded's body,' on the off chance that I was wrong, or the call was intercepted somehow.

"How so?" I could hear a something odd starting to come in to her voice, angering me. She was going to pretend this was not her doing? I'd get it out of her, even if I had to play her game.

"I woke up feeling a bit disoriented this morning," _that's an understatement_ "and my appetite is a bit off, I've been having severe pains and I'm bleeding."

She had the audacity to laugh, "I've got some tampons in my washroom if you need them," she said.

'_Tampons? What? Why would I...' _Suddenly it clicked. I had been with women who had been menstruating, but having never experienced this for myself I could not recognize it for what it was. I had heard of menstrual cramps but never expected them to be as bad as they are. I had a new respect for the pain tolerance of human women.

"Uh, thanks," I stammered. I, Eric Northman, actually stammered! I was also irritated at the waste of blood, even though it disgusted me at the moment.

"And don't worry, **Sook**," she stated the last word a bit more strongly than the others, emphasizing the identity, "just eat some chocolate, grab a book and lay out in the sun until you have to work at 5. But I've got to go now, talk to you later!"

She hung up before I could say anything else.

I had so many thoughts racing through my head. '_Chocolate. I really could go for some chocolate right now. I am going to enjoy going out in the sun. But I most certainly will NOT work at that hell hole Merlotte's. Eric Northman does not serve others. Eric Northman does not demean himself. I do not want Sookie working there, so I will not work there.'_

I went into Amelia's washroom and searched until I found a box that said 'tampons' on it. It took 3 attempts, but I figured out how the contraption worked; the applicator a bit confusing at first. I went back to Sookie's room and put on one of her bikinis. Of course I glanced at her body in the mirror a few times, admiring the view. I did run my hands over her breasts quite a few times as well. I found her coconut oil and slathered some on my skin, thoroughly enjoying the smell, before heading outside. I had always loved its scent on her skin.

It was almost 12:15pm at this point as I headed outside, Sookie's cell phone in one hand, a half eaten (by me) chocolate bar in the other. I found a lounge chair in the yard and moved it to the spot most directly hit by the sun. Once it was in place I just stood next to it and stared up at the sky. Marvelling at the beauty that was the blue and white surrounding everything. The yellow globe radiating heat. The birds, the insects, the flowers, the trees. Daytime was so stunningly beautiful.

I knew that it would be in my best interests to torture the witch to fix this. I also started to think about what had happened to Sookie. If I were now Sookie, it was highly likely that she was me. I did not focus on this too long though, as the sun completely intoxicated me. I needed to experience the sun. I had no idea how long I would have this opportunity. So I lay on the lounge chair and felt myself relaxing, enjoying the feel of the sun's warmth on my body. I fell asleep to the amazing feeling.

***

I woke up to the sound of the cell phone ringing. It was Sam.

"Yes," I asked, groggily, noticing it had cooled slightly outside and amazed at the fact my body registered such a slight change of temperature.

"Sookie, are you okay?" He asked, worriedly.

'_That is quite a question, Shifter,'_ "Why?"

"Your shift started 20 minutes ago, chère," he said, concern in his voice.

'_I do NOT want to go there. The bar is beneath her. Sookie's job is important to her, though. She would kill me if she knew she was missing work. But I need to figure out how to get the witch to fix this problem, or how to fix it myself. But this is Sookie's life...'_

I sighed, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

'_Damn you you little fairy telepath.'_

***

45 minutes later I walked in through the employee entrance at Merlotte's. After hanging up with the shifter I had a shower (a rather pleasurable one) and had to work on putting on a brassiere. I had removed many bras (and destroyed many) in my lifetime, but not once had I assisted a woman in putting one on. I may have taken longer than required to admire her splendid body. And then I had to dress myself in that horrible uniform. I did not apply any makeup though I did tie her hair back into an intricate braid. I would not demean myself enough to carry a purse so I grabbed Sookie's cell phone, keys and wallet in my hand. I also had to suffer through driving Sookie's poor excuse of a car to her horrible place of employ.

I went straight to the shifter's office to place Sookie's items in the empty drawer in his office, where I knew she kept her items.

I heard Sam before I saw him. '_She looks so good. I just want to hold her. Fuck that goddamn vampire. He doesn't deserve her love.'_

I growled when I heard Sam and spun around with a horrifying look on Sookie's beautiful face, "Listen here, Shifter..."

Sam's face showed a wide variety of emotions: confusion, realization, shame, sorrow, love, regret.

"I'm sorry Sookie," he interrupted, "I didn't mean to think that..."

I just left the office and headed to the bar, grabbing a tray on the way.

'_God I need another drink.'_

'_Maybe I can get Jason to take me home tonight.'_

'_I think I might be pregnant.'_

'_Goddamn fangbanger. She'll burn in hell.'_

'_Should I get the fries or the salad with my burger?'_

I put the tray back down on the bar and braced myself against the structure. Sookie's body I could handle (boy could I handle it, twice already today). Sookie's voice, yes. Eating human food, drinking human drinks was great. Lying out in the sun, amazing. But this... I was not ready for this.

'_Fuck. Sookie's telepathy.'_

*******

**A/N: Next time: Sookie! Well, Sookie's mind and personality, not her body... How will she react? And more entertainingly... how will Pam react? Thanks again for the great feedback. It's what made****me update so soon. Keep the reviews coming and the updates will keep coming quickly (I'm almost done the next chapter). **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another update! I was overwhelmed with the reviews I got for the last chapter. Thank you so much for all the love!! **

**I still own nothing.**

***

**Sookie's POV**

I woke feeling extremely rested, almost as though I slept the sleep of the dead. I stretched out in my bed to feel satin sheets.

'_What is going on? I had a hard enough time with these at Hadley's!'_ I knew I didn't even own any satin sheets.

I started to panic. '_Where am I?'_ I felt unshed tears spring at the corners of my eyes as I went through all the scenarios that could lead me to be here.

I knew I had not gone home with anyone willingly, unless I had gone with Eric but somehow forgot. That was highly unlikely. I may have been drugged and brought back to someone's place. I may have been kidnapped... I needed to know.

I stood up and felt all along the walls for a light switch before finally finding one. As the lights turned on I looked around and saw there were no windows in the room. A huge bed was the focal point of the room. It was much larger than a king size and it had red satin sheets. A bookshelf covered one of the walls and I headed over there hoping for clues. There were hundreds of books in what looked to be many languages, and I didn't want to just sit and look at them all immediately before exploring. I looked around the room more and saw an antique looking painting on the wall of a large ship. It was beautiful.

I saw that there was an ensuite attached to the room so I headed over to the washroom and saw a huge shower. I looked around the washroom and gasped in shock as I looked in the mirror. I saw Eric's reflection. I looked behind me and saw nothing and nobody so I stared in the mirror again. I ran a hand through my hair and Eric did the same. I scratched my head and Eric did the same. I ran my hands over my chest, finding it smooth and hard, with a dusting of blonde hair, and Eric did the same. I finally looked down at myself and saw that I most definitely was not myself.

'_I did not come home from work yesterday with pecs, chest hair, a 6-pack and a gracious plenty.' _I turned around to get a look at my favourite part of Eric's anatomy in the mirror and licked my lips. His backside was just as glorious as ever. But then I realized my predicament.

'_What is going on? How am I...? What am I...? Who am I...?'_

I started to cry at my panic as I looked around. I saw my reflection again in the mirror and saw red tears running down Eric's beautiful, masculine face. I wiped the blood away and tried to breathe to calm myself.

'_I can't breathe! I can't ... I'm...'_ I had a panic attack when I couldn't feel any air entering my lungs. I calmed myself eventually by reassuring myself that Eric did just fine without breathing.

I figured that I must be in Eric's house and took a shower to calm myself. Being in his huge shower made me think of what we could do in there if my shower was any indication. Before I knew what I was doing I was taking advantage of Eric's gracious plenty. I had been craving his body more than I knew and being presented with it I could not hold back.

When I finished enjoying his body I decided that male orgasms were quite different from what I was used to.

I dried off and looked in Eric's closet to find some clothing. I knew he would likely walk around his house naked, but though I might look like him, I most definitely was NOT Eric. I found some jeans a black tank top and a leather jacket took them out. I looked in his drawers and smiled when I saw his red Speedo underwear. I knew I would wear them as it brought back so many memories from my time with 'my Eric'. I got dressed and left to explore Eric's house.

I found myself extremely hungry so opted to find the kitchen first. I opened the refrigerator to find it full of True Bloods. I felt disgusted when I found myself practically salivating. I hesitantly microwaved a True Blood, shaking it before pausing with the rim of the bottle at my lips. I closed my eyes and took a small sip.

It was no fillet mignon, but it was good enough. I downed the rest of the bottle.

After I finished my True Blood I started to panic again. '_What the heck happened? What's going on?' _I figured I should call Amelia – she's a witch, maybe she'd know what to do. But as I searched around for a telephone I didn't know what to say to her or how she'd react. Pam was my next choice, as she was the one closest to Eric and was my sort of friend. But how would I explain to her that her maker's body was now possessed by a 27 year old woman? After 10 minutes of searching I gave up in frustration when I couldn't find the phone, eliminating my options of calling anyone.

I looked at the door and figured that maybe I should just head to Fangtasia. Pam might already be there and maybe she could help me out. And I knew for sure that there was a phone there. I walked outside to see Eric's corvette but that's the only thing I recognized. I walked down the street a bit to the nearest intersection and did not know where I was.

Panic started to overtake me again as I felt trapped. How was I supposed to get out of here if I couldn't see where to go?

I walked back to Eric's house and tried to think about what Eric would do in this situation. First off, he'd yell at someone for not doing their job. Then he would figure out what happened and try to come up with the simplest solution while leaving me out of it.

Nobody was around to yell at so I just walked inside, screaming as loud as I could. I also slammed the door as hard as I could. I noticed I had vampire strength and found myself thankful that Eric had reinforced doors, preventing its breakage. I felt a little better after releasing a little tension.

As for what happened, until I could talk to somebody I couldn't figure that out. But my guess was that if I were here Eric was probably living my life.

I giggled (which sounded extremely odd coming from Eric) when I thought about it. Eric trying to cook. Eric trying to pee. Eric... oh my god... my period was supposed to start today! I actually broke into a fit of laughter at the thought of Eric having his period. But then I became embarrassed at the thought of a man I had been intimate with (and rather enjoyed being intimate with) experiencing my period.

Then I sobered up and realized that this was Eric I was thinking about. He probably did many things to my body that I had been wanting him to do for a while. I felt slightly violated until I remembered that I had done just that to his body not too long ago.

I returned my mind to the task. In order to be Eric I needed to figure out the cause of this problem and to do that I needed to get out of his house. I could get in his car and drive around aimlessly, or... how else would Eric get around.

I walked back outside and stood on his lawn and jumped. I landed right back on my feet. I jumped again, holding one arm in front of me like Superman. I just felt like an idiot.

'_Come on Sookie! Focus!'_

I thought really hard about what I wanted to do. '_Fly. Just fly! Eric does it all the time. You know you can do this. Fly!'_

I stretched as far up as I could and felt my heels leave the ground until I was on my tip toes, and then they left the ground as well. I looked down and saw that I was hovering a few feet off the grass.

I let out a huge laugh and tested the ability. I leaned to the left and moved to the left. Leaning back sent Eric's body backwards. Right to the right. Front to the front.

Feeling confident I somehow made myself go higher. I could see the lights of Shreveport below me and could see what looked like the area Fangtasia was in. I leaned forward and to my left and Eric's body moved in that direction rapidly.

It was an amazing feeling to be in control and to soar above the city like this. I was tempted to just fly around and continue the experience, but I saw that I had headed in the right direction and found myself hovering above Fangtasia.

'_How do I land? Supposedly the hardest parts of flying an airplane are the takeoff and landing. Take off was hard... what the hell is landing going to be like?_'

I tried to push my body down but felt like I was imitating someone who was constipated and squatting on a toilet. I closed my eyes and thought hard about landing and focused on making my body go lower. I felt Eric's toes touch the ground and smiled at my success.

I ran a hand through Eric's windswept hair and took a deep (unnecessary) breath, readying myself to go in the employee's entrance.

I walked inside and headed straight for Eric's office. I opened the door, ready to use the phone to call Amelia, or the phone or intercom to call Pam.

I was not ready to see someone sitting on the leather couch.

"Hello, Northman."

"Victor...?"

**

**A/N: I know that last time I mentioned there would be some Pam, but Sookie just went through so much when she woke up that she didn't get to see Pam yet. And then Victor decided to show up and throw a wrench in things... stupid Victor. How will Sookie-as-Eric (should we nickname them... Seric?) fare. Or will next chapter be Eric as Sookie (Erkie?) or both? Or neither? Those two crazies getting into so much trouble. It does seem like Sookie got a bit of Eric's common sense in addition to his flying ability, though. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Since I couldn't decide who to focus on in this chapter everyone kind of took up some of it, making it the longest chapter yet. Again, I own nothing and nobody. But I did get some groceries today, so I guess I own those.**

***

**Eric's POV**

'_Why is she just standing there?'_

'_I wonder if she's still with that fanger.'_

'_Fries or salad, fries or salad, fries or sa...'_

'_Just one drink. That's all.'_

The thoughts were completely bombarding me. I could hear everything they were thinking and it was making my head ache more than I ever thought imaginable. '_How the hell does Sookie manage?'_ I started to feel regret for all of the times her 'gift' was used by my kind. Three minutes of it and I was starting to see it as the curse she claimed it was.

A waitress (I think her name was Molly or Holly... the wiccan one) came over to me.

"Thank god you finally showed up Sookie. I need to get home. Andy came in about 5 minutes ago so you'll probably want to get him first. See you later!" She said all of this to me as though I knew what to do, all the while taking off her mini-apron that waitresses wear and putting down her tray. She ran out the door.

I stared after her in disbelief as I picked up a tray again and walked over to one of the few customers I recognized, Detective Andy Bellefleur.

"Yeah?" I said, just looking at him.

"Jesus Sookie, what crawled up your ass? That fanger done somethin' to you?" '

"Nothing has been done to me," I hissed. Oh how my life would be better if something was done to me. And I would never do anything to Sookie that she would not want done to her

"Okay then," the detective said, "I'll take the fingers and fries. And a coke."

I walked away from the table and looked around, not sure of what to do. I saw another waitress writing on a pad of paper, so I looked for one to write down the order. I followed her to the kitchen and handed it over.

I looked around, not knowing where to go or what to do.

I was still being bombarded with the thoughts of the Hicksville residents. Some were thinking of Sookie and her association with vampires. I could not believe the things she had to deal with. How could she still associate with us when everyone in her town finds fault with her? How could she still be attracted to us... to me? Not only have her friends started thinking poorly of her, but her telepathy is abused by us.

Sookie often spoke of her 'shields' that she used to block out the thoughts of those around her. I closed my eyes but was still bombarded. I thought quiet thoughts but nothing happened. Frustrated and with an aching head I slammed down her tray. That did nothing but get everyone in the bar to stop talking and look at me.

Unfortunately, their thoughts about Sookie and her association with vampires, and her 'craziness' kept coming.

The cook called 'order up.' Even I knew what that meant so I grabbed the dish and a coke from the bar and slammed them down on the detective's table before leaning against a wall. The patrons started talking again, relieving me, though making me more upset at the same time because I know had double the voices to worry about.

Suddenly there was one silent cloud in the room. I knew that Sookie couldn't hear vampire thoughts so there was only one reason for the silence.

I looked up and saw him staring at me from the door. He walked over.

"Good evening, Sookie," He said with adoration in his voice.

"Bill," I growled through clenched teeth.

***

**Pam's POV**

I woke from my slumber and wanted to know what had happened. If the 'Switcheroo' (Amelia's word for it) worked, I didn't want to call Eric's cellular phone, as Sookie would answer, not know how to respond and probably annoy me with crying. I did not want to hear crying coming from Eric. No matter who or what possessed his body. Human emotions. I shuddered at the thought.

So I opted to call Amelia. I knew the witch lacked patience and guessed she would have foolishly contacted Sookie (or Eric in Sookie's body... rather, Eric's mind possessing the telepath's form) to see.

"Hello," She answered her cell phone.

"Did it work?" I got right to the point.

"Oh, hi Pam. I'm pretty sure it did. I called Sookie's cell this morning and her greeting was in the form of screaming out 'WITCH!'"

"That does sound like Eric," I said with a small smirk.

"He/she... whoever it was, was angry when they answered but calmed and then in an overly calm voice talked about being disoriented."

"Eric can force himself to hold in his emotions rather well when dealing with others, though he might want to rip them limb from limb."

Amelia swallowed at hearing about Eric's violence. But then she giggled.

"Did you just giggle?" I asked, incredulously.

"Well if it is Eric for certain, he sure as hell has had an interesting day so far. He has already experienced menstrual cramps and his first period."

Even I laughed at this. My master, menstruating. I would never let him live this one down.

Amelia continued, "My guess is that he suspects me but he never came out and said it. I think he wanted to keep it quiet just in case. And maybe he doesn't want to make things worse. And I sure as hell don't want him to get pissed at me... he's been cursed by witches before and I don't want him to think that is what this is."

"Ah yes, Hallow and her coven. Eric will be rather irritated when he finds out about a witch's involvement in another scheme involving him. Let's just blame it on the fairy."

"Blame the whole switcheroo thing on Sookie's grandfather? But he barely did anything."

"True, but his magic is what will prevent you from being able to break the curse and will force them to fix the problem on their own."

"I guess that rids me of all the magical blame. I take it that since you were asking me about the situation you haven't called Eric's phone yet?" Amelia switched the focus of the conversation.

"I am assuming that Sookie knows her way to Fangtasia and will meet her there. If not, the corvette has GPS so she'll find her way. I will head to the bar now to see for myself."

"Why aren't you checking at Eric's house?"

"Sookie has never been to Eric's house so she will likely panic. She'll want to figure out and fix things as soon as she can and will want to get out of the unfamiliar setting, do you not agree?"

"Yes..."

"So Fangtasia is the closest destination she is familiar with. She will rightfully assume that I will be there and if there are issues she will seek comfort from someone she knows, even if it's a vampire. Foolish girl."

"But why not Merlotte's then?"

I sighed in exasperation, "Is Eric considered really welcome at your little bar? Would people there be willing to help a vampire? He has been there before and acted like Eric. My assumption is that Sookie will be scared and unsure of herself and that would not work on Eric, considering his normal demeanour. It would arise suspicion, make my master vulnerable and could harm him. Sookie is smarter than that."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense," Amelia replied. "I think that I'll stop by Merlotte's soon then to see what's going on there. If Eric actually showed up for Sookie's shift." I laughed at that. Eric would clothe himself in silver before working as a waitress. Amelia continued, "And if it's a public place maybe Eric won't kill me. Plus if it all went to plan he won't have all his ninja Viking vampire moves to kick my ass and I can just turn him into a toad."

"I will update you," I said before hanging up.

I dressed in my horrific Fangtasia clothing and headed out to my car when my phone rang. Expecting it to be Eric (or Sookie) I answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Yes," I answered.

"Pamela, its Victor. I'm in the area and wish to speak to the Sherrif this evening."

"I'm not so sure tonight is the best night, Sir," I replied, worrying slightly.

"Nonsense, I'm only here for the evening. I am en route to Fangtasia as we speak. I have tried contacting Northman but he has not answered his phone. Is there a problem I should know about?"

"No, of course not," I lied smoothly, "He is normally careful with it but he must have left it in his office before leaving early in the morning."

"I expect to see him at Fangtasia this evening," He said tersely and hung up.

I pressed harder on the gas and sped far past the speed limit to make it to Fangtasia.

I rushed through the employee entrance, having not seen Eric's car in the parking lot.

'_Good, I'm here before him/her and can warn him/her to stay away.'_

But when I walked past Eric's office I heard voices and knew that I was too late.

***

**Sookie's POV**

"Victor...?"

'_Fuck...shit...damnit!" _My thoughts weren't agreeing with my Southern manners and were cursing. '_What the hell do I do? Act like Eric. Act like Eric. Act like Eric.'_

"What a surprise. What brings you to Area 5 this evening?" I asked, trying to play it cool as I tried to walk smoothly to Eric's chair. I think I overdid my 'coolness' though and ended up walking like The Fonz. I sat in Eric's chair, made a tent with my fingers as Eric so often did (which helped in hiding my shakiness), and looked at the evil man sitting on the couch.

"I attempted to contact you in advance to notify you of my visit, Northman. I would not expect someone in your position to avoid my calls."

'_Damn Eric, where the hell did he put his cell phone?'_

"I am sorry. I cannot seem to find it. And I ask again, what brings you to my area?" '_Good Sookie, good. Keep things simple; keep Victor talking and that means less talking for you.'_ I hoped I was concealing things well.

"Is something wrong, Northman?"

"No, why do you ask?" '_Why the hell DO you ask you bastard?'_

"You have the oddest smile on your face," He looked at me curiously.

'_Crap! Wipe off the 'Crazy Sookie/nervous' smile. Wipe it off!'_ "I must just be in a good mood," I said, hoping that would suffice as my response, as I forced the nervous smile from Eric's face.

"Would the good mood have anything to do with your beautiful bonded?" Victor had a disgusting smile on his face. "The telepath is the reason I have come this evening. I require her services."

"Absolutely not!" I shouted, standing up angrily. I didn't even need to pretend to be Eric for that reaction.

"Northman," Madden sneered, "The telepath is your asset, but your area is under my control. Therefore your assets are my assets. The King already knows that I'm here demanding her services and expects her to deliver said services." He got an evil smile on his face. "If you do not cooperate with my orders, she will have to be taken from your area and reside with me. But don't worry, I could always loan her to you."

'_Yes, because I'm a library book! '_ "She will stay here," I replied angrily, "with me." I would much rather stay with Eric than go with anyone else. At least Eric would keep me safe and not make me do anything I don't want to. Unless his or my life were in danger. And even then he'd have a plan to keep me safe.

I sighed in resignation, "What do you need telepathy for tonight?" I knew that if I didn't comply Madden would follow through on his threat. He would threaten Eric or me with each other's safety, kidnap me, manipulate us... this was easier.

"There have been a few problems in our kingdom. I require her mind reading services. Here. At Fangtasia. Tonight. I have brought the parties to be read with me."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to make me... my bonded... go to New Orleans instead of bringing your human contingent here to Shreveport for one evening?" '_I think that's a valid question.'_

"And here I thought you would appreciate the fact that I was giving you home turf advantage. Next time I'll remember that you want to leave Shreveport when I need you."

'_Crap!' _"No, no. I'm very grateful you have provided this option," I said, nervously, "It was just unexpected."

"And how is the beautiful Miss Stackhouse this evening?" Victor asked with sliminess to him.

"I have not spoken to... Sookie... yet this evening." I replied, finding it extremely odd to refer to Eric as Sookie and myself in the third person nonetheless.

"Is there something wrong with the bond? Are you unable to sense her?"

'_Crap! Of course Eric would just sense me.'_ I focused on the bond to try to see how things were going for Eric as me (assuming that we had really switched places).

Nothing. There was no bond.

'_Shit!'_My thoughts cursed again, '_What the hell is going on? Is nobody in my body? Where is Eric? If I'm him he has to be somewhere... he hasn't been killed, I'd know that, did he somehow close it off? Was this all his doing? What the hell?! Victor can't know there's something wrong. He'll separate us!'_

I kept Eric's face impassive during this thought process and responded with a forced smile, "My beautiful bonded is wonderful. Shall I call in Pam so we can get organized for this evening?"

***

**Dun dun dun. What happened to the bond?**

**Hope you guys liked it. I could just imagine how frustrated Eric would have been not being in control of a situation. And of course he wouldn't be a pleasant server. And that evil Victor, fishing around. I haven't started on the next chapter yet, but I hope it'll be done and up tomorrow. Let me know what you thought! Love you guys and the love you give me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi guys. I'm sorry for the delay in updating the story. I was having a brain fart that lasted a week, not sure what I wanted to do next, what things I wanted to include, where I was going to go, etc. But thank you for all the support. I've received almost 100 reviews after 5 chapters. You guys are the best followers a girl writing a Freaky Friday inspired vampire/fairy/telepath/witch fanfic could ever hope for. It's kind of a filler chapter but I hope you find it entertaining.**

***

**Sookie's POV**

"My beautiful bonded is wonderful." I informed Victor. "Shall I call in Pam so we can get organized for this evening?"

"Oh, I'll leave you and your child to do your business while I enjoy the bar. Maybe I can find myself a delicious meal while I'm out there," Victor responded.

_Yuck! What a creep! _"Lovely." I said through gritted teeth as Victor stood. I did my weird head bob thing and Victor left.

Pam was right outside the office door and hurried inside.

"What was that about?" She asked.

"Oh God, Pam! " I said, finally letting me by myself. "This is a disaster!"

"What?" Pam said, cautiously.

"It's Sookie!" I said, pointing to myself, well, to Eric's body.

"What about Sookie," she asked, with a head tilt.

"No, Pam. Me. I'm Sookie! I don't know how but somehow I woke up today in Eric's body and now I'm a flying Superman with fangs and I drank True Blood earlier, I can't pee or breathe, I'm in Eric's freaking body, and Victor wants my telepathy but I don't know if I'm still telepathic or what the hell happened to my body. And if I'm here, where's Eric? Is Eric in my body? Oh god, what is Eric doing to my body. Is he telepathic? Is he human? I can't feel the bond. Oh my, I was supposed to work today. What will he do to Sam? Is he still a vampire? I'm in Eric's body! What the hell!"

I was babbling, I was hysterical. Voicing everything out loud made it seem much more real and I had to fight to hold in the tears. _I will not let Eric cry. _

Pam approached me with the corners of her mouth pulled up slightly. "Seriously? You are the telepath? In my master's body?"

"Did you not hear me?" I yelled at her. "I have no idea what's going on. Or how to fix it. Or how the hell I'm going to get to use my telepathy for Victor if I'm not even me! What if Victor kills me... or my body I mean. Or me in Eric's body... oh God, Eric would be killed! I don't want him to die. Or really die. I mean die for good."

I rambled again.

"Eri.. Sookie," she said, "You need to calm down. You are at Fangtasia where there are many vampires. Vampires with excellent hearing. You will not want anyone to know of this. Especially not Victor."

I nodded and looked at Pam meekly. Or as meekly as Eric could look.

"I was listening at the door during your conversation with Madden. He wants Sook... your telepathy this evening." I nodded again. "You will stay here and sit on Eric's throne. Just sit. You don't have to do anything but be brooding and scary."

"But what about Victor?" I asked, knowing he'd be out there.

"Madden would be foolish to do anything while you are out there. Fangtasia brings in a lot of money and he knows that Eric is a highly respected vampire. He will leave you alone on the floor."

"Where will you be?"

"I will go to the shifter's bar. I will see what has happened to your body. I will relay the message to Eric, assuming he is possessing your body. My master is a good strategist."

I nodded again (I was starting to feel like a bobblehead). "You won't be gone long will you?" I asked, scared about what Victor might do, scared about the fangbangers (and hoping I didn't get hungry or vampire horny while I was out there) and scared about what had become of my body.

"I'll be back as soon as I can be," Pam said, kissing me on the cheek. She ran out at vampire speed. I took an unnecessary breath, held Eric's head high and walked as calmly (and non-Fonz like) as possible out to 'enthral the vermin.'

***

**Amelia's POV**

I was just pulling into the parking at Merlotte's when my cell phone rang.

'_Pam_,' I thought as I answered. "Well?" I asked by way of greeting.

"Your roommate is most hysterical. It is not becoming on Eric's body."

I laughed, "It worked? You're sure it worked?"

"Oh, it worked. Sookie was babbling about not being able to pee, drinking blood, not having telepathy, wondering where Eric is..."

"This is brilliant!" I exclaimed, "We are geniuses! You didn't let her know you knew about it though, did you?"

"I'm not an idiot Amelia. And don't get too excited. We have a problem."

"What's wrong? Eric's body doesn't have boobs or anything does it? "

"His body is just as it always was. We have a problem with Victor Madden. He is here and wants Sookie's telepathy this evening. He threatened Eric and Sookie's relationship if they didn't comply."

"Shit," I cursed.

"I take it you have not inspected things on your side?"

"I just got to Merlotte's and am just about to... shit!"

"You are just about to defecate?" Pam asked, confused.

"No, I... Bill just walked in to Merlotte's."

"Shit," Pam repeated. "Bill has had Sookie's blood and may notice that something is wrong."

"I'm going in," I said.

"And I'm on my way," Pam replied before hanging up.

***

**Eric's POV**

"Good evening, Sookie," He said with adoration in his voice.

"Bill," I growled through clenched teeth.

He leaned in and smelled my hair. The bastard actually sniffed me!

"You were in the sun today. I can smell it on you," He said with a small smile.

_Creepy. I sure hope that I don't come off that creepy when I smell Sookie. I do it because I find her intoxicating. Compton does it because he is obsessed._

My lack of any response to him must have seemed odd because he looked at me curiously.

"Is everything alright with you Sookie? You seem a bit different."

Deep breath. "I am fine Compton. Just tired." _Partially true. Tired of you!_

"Compton? You never call me that. Have you been spending time with Eric?" He hissed out my name.

"My sex life is none of your business, **Bill**," I emphasized his name as I snapped at him. Sookie would hate me for mentioning sex in my response, especially since we're not having any, but the bastard deserved it. And it felt good, dammit.

"You are not with him again." He stated it as a fact, though it was more of a question. "I know you care for him, but Sookie, he doesn't have human emotions. He can't love you like you deserve."

"Fuck you." I said, the words sounding weird from Sookie's mouth. "You don't have human emotions either, Bill."

"I'm more human than he is," He leaned closer to me.

"And you have no idea how Eric feels. He hates having feelings but he has more potential for love than you do. And he has never been the manipulating liar that you are."

"You really aren't yourself today, Sookie," Bill seemed confused at me. "We were starting to make strides, being friendlier. You sound a lot like Eric today."

"Maybe that is a good thing," I said as I walked away, fighting the urge to stake him on the spot.

I saw Amelia sliding into a booth in an upset and restless section (probably Sookie's) of the bar. I walked over to her hissing, "Witch, we need to talk."

I hollered over my shoulder "Taking a break," before walking outside with Amelia.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked her in a loud whisper.

She looked scared, "What do you mean?" She asked.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean." I continued to speak quietly as we could easily be overheard. "You know that I'm not Sookie."

"What..." She started, before I held up my hand to stop her.

"I know that you are familiar with the fact that I am not exactly fond of witches. That I have been cursed before. This... ordeal... reeks of witchcraft."

'_I'm a little teacup short and stout. Here is my handle...' _I could hear Amelia's thoughts but she was guarding them.

"And can you please either stop thinking or stop singing that insufferable song in your mind?"

Her thoughts started humming then. I found the humming sound much more tolerable than the singing.

"What's wrong with your shields?" She asked.

"Witch, I am only going to say this once and you best not find any amusement from this or so help me god I will have you drained." Her face blanched as I gripped her throat. I took little satisfaction in that, considering the circumstances. "When I spoke to you this morning I mentioned the issues I was experiencing. They were very interesting. Some I have never before personally experienced, such as menstruation. Others I have not experienced in over 1000 years. You know full well that I am Eric and somehow I managed to wind up in your roommate's body this morning, and not in the sexual manner that I favour. I want to know exactly how this happened and exactly what happened to my beloved. I also want to know what you are doing to rectify this situation, since I find telepathy quite irritating."

"I... I..." the witch stammered before we were interrupted.

Pam pulled up and stepped out of her car, "Oh stop being so dramatic," she said, observing the scene she saw. A cowering witch with a vampire possessed fairy telepath's hands around her throat.

"Drain the witch," I said as I let go of Amelia's throat.

"Oh Eric, you know I'm fond of her. And then where would the amusement in Sookie's life be?"

"You called me Eric," I stated.

"Well, is that not who you are, though I do love the package you have presented yourself in today. Maybe you'll let me play with your toy now that your bonded is not in there?"

I hissed, "Sookie's body is for me alone."

"No fun," Pam said with a smirk.

"Where is Sookie?" I asked, concerned for her safety. I searched the bond but felt nothing, making me worry. "And why can't I feel her through the bond?

"Oh, she's at Fangtasia. Enthralling the vermin as you."

"She is alright?"

"No. She is a quivering mess, but she is a good actress. Or at least she seemed to convince Madden."

"WHAT?" I yelled.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that?" Pam studied her fingernails. "Victor Madden arrived. He requires Sookie's telepathy tonight. A trait I hope you have inherited, otherwise you will likely be separated, due to lack of cooperation."

I growled, "I am telepathic," I stated, "And I hate it."

"Now you know how Sookie feels," Amelia muttered.

"Quiet witch. I'm not through with you yet," I turned and called in her direction.

"Could Madden not be delayed until we sorted this whole curse out?"

"Oh Eric, I don't think this is anything like Hallow's coven. Think of it as getting to see how your bonded lives and having a new appreciation for each other! And no, both Sookie and I attempted to deter Madden to no avail. He requires her telepathy tonight, with the King's consent."

"I can cover for you... Sookie... for the rest of her shift," Amelia said as she headed towards the bar. I think she just wanted to get away from me as quickly as possible.

I glared at her before turning back to Pam. "I need to return to Sookie's house to change. I will not go to Fangtasia dressed as a barmaid. And you will drive. I do not want to sit in Sookie's deathtrap again."

Pam threw back her head and laughed as we walked to her car.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you for all of the amazing reviews! I am sorry for the delay in the update. Forgive me? This is the longest chapter yet. It has Eric and Sookie's first contact as Sookie and Eric, Eric trying to work through 'feelings', Sookie dealing with fangbangers... it's not as comedic as the other ones, but I wanted to do it anyways. I hope you enjoy it!**

**As always, I own nothing. But I bought a hair straightener today, so I own the option of hair styles. Sadly I own nothing fun like Charlaine Harris does. Grrr.**

*****  
**

Eric's POV

Pam refused to answer any of my questions as she drove us to Sookie's house. I tried to demand her to do so (as her maker) but I appeared to have lost that ability with the body swap. I also knew that I wouldn't be able to overpower her physically without my vampire abilities, so I glared at her the entire ride. So when we got to Sookie's house, Pam decided to explore and I did the most logical thing I could think of doing. I phoned Fangtasia.

"Fangtasia, the bar with a bite..." the voice on the other end answered.

"This is... Sookie," I said, still finding it odd, "I wish to converse with your master."

"Right away," the woman replied, and I heard her hurriedly carry the phone across the bar and mumble to Sookie that, well, Sookie was on the other end. I heard my voice though I couldn't make out the words before I heard the phone being passed.

"I am here," I heard myself say. "I've wanted to say that for a while without sounding stupid."

"Are you okay?" I asked Sookie, getting right to the point.

"No," she replied quietly, "Nothing about this is okay."

"No, it is not," I replied sadly, "But we will figure it out."

"How?" I heard her ask.

"I am still working on that," I said, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," she replied without hesitation, "You would never do anything to hurt me that could possibly hurt you."

While that was true, it hurt to hear Sookie voice that she thought my only thoughts about her safety were related to my own.

"Do you trust me?" She asked, breaking my reverie.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"With this situation, a lot of pressure is being put on me..."

"I trust you with my life," I replied honestly, "And I know that you would do whatever it takes to ensure my safety, no matter how you may be risking your own." It was the truth. We trusted each other with our lives. That trust was something I hadn't given in 1000 years.

"The telepathy..." she started.

"I have inherited it," I replied. "I find it an insufferable curse."

"Now you know how I feel," I could hear a sad smile in her voice.

"I am at your house to change out of that disgusting bar uniform you wear," She laughed at this, a deep laugh that sounded like me, "I will be at Fangtasia shortly."

"Enthralling the vermin sucks," she stated simply, "and dealing with politics is something I don't enjoy."

"Now you know how I feel," I replied. "I will be there soon so you will not have to sit there much longer. Just pop your fangs and do not do anything that I would not do."

"I don't know what you wouldn't do," she replied, and I heard her sadly whisper, "or who."

'_She really has no idea what she does to me, does she?'_ "You will be fine," I replied before hanging up the phone in the kitchen and heading to Sookie's bedroom.

I sat on the bed for a moment to collect my thoughts before getting changed. I looked around, memories of my time here taking me over.

'_It really was the happiest I have ever been.' _I thought.

Looking around my eyes fell on a piece of paper sitting on Sookie's bedside table I picked it up and my eyes widened as I looked at the contents.

What to do? Eric's Pros and Cons

I looked through the list, amused at the physical attributes she listed as my 'pros'. She had also listed:

_**Sense of humour (odd for a vampire)  
Saved my life many times****  
Saved me from uncomfortable situations  
**__**Pink spandex  
Protects me  
Great company when he wants to be****  
Great (amazing) in bed**_

That last pro really made me smile. It's something I already knew, but hearing it is always great for the ego. I frowned as I looked at the cons list which was much longer than the pros list.

_**Unsure of his real feelings for me.  
Finds my fairy blood intoxicating.  
Considers me an 'asset' for my telepathy  
Extremely possessive – might want me only so others can't have me  
May tire of me or become unattracted to me as I age  
I'm still a bit hung up on 'my Eric'  
Constantly trying to have sex with me in inappropriate situations  
Vampire politics  
Work always comes first  
My life in constant danger  
Friends want to eat me  
Wants to hurt any male friends who I'm the least bit physical with (like hugging Sam)  
Can't wear silver  
Can't eat garlic  
Lives in Shreveport  
Insults my possessions  
Can't have children  
Can't spend our days together  
Feelings for each other real or just created by the bond  
I love him but am I 'in' love 'with' him. Is my love even real or his that I'm feeling through the bond?  
Manipulates me and tricks me by saying things are 'good for me' but really benefit him (bond, pledging)  
Likelihood of monogamy slim  
Surrounded by sluts who want him to bite and sleep with them – constant temptation**_

I was pretty upset reading the cons list. Sookie found much more fault in me than she found positive attributes. Many of her concerns were valid, but she completely misconstrued many of them.

Yes, I manipulated her, but it in all honesty was for the best. Andre may not have died and she could have been bonded to him. I still believe I was the better option. The pledging ensured even more that she could not be taken against her will. I also would not have put myself into that commitment situation if I didn't want it. Why would I care what happened to her if I didn't care about her as a person?

Yes, her fairy blood was intoxicating, but I was attracted to her even before I knew she was part fae. And she knew that. The blood was an added bonus, like humans getting free gravy with their French fries. As for being an 'asset' yes, she was. Her telepathy had been extremely useful and I did not want others taking advantage of her abilities. I would not know her if she were not telepathic, so I would not be held responsible for wanting to use that. It was the reason I met her so I cherished it.

Of course I was possessive. She was tantalizing to vampires. She was a supernatural being magnet. She was gorgeous and had her gift that others want to abuse. I wanted to keep her safe. I also wanted her to be mine and mine alone, just as any human wants their partner to be with just them. Which was also why I constantly want to sleep with her. She was gorgeous, fantastic in bed (or shower, or table, or floor, etc.) and I could not control myself around her. Also my scent on her body could be beneficial if we were ever in a situation where someone wanted to use her.

'My' Eric. I was not sure but I believed she meant the Eric that she was with when I was cursed. Did she not realize that he was a part of me? Yes, I was vicious, mean and bad ass. But I was very loyal and caring towards those important to me. During the curse she was the most important thing in my life so those personality traits were even more prominent. And she doubted my ability to be monogamous? Did she really think that after bedding her and tasting her blood I would ever be satisfied with a fangbanger again? Monogamy was not normal for a vampire, but a woman like Sookie Stackhouse was not normal either.

I was sad to admit the truths she has listed. Work was extremely important to me and my role as sheriff was one I took seriously. I had offered to give it all up for her, and I still would but I would probably be a bit bitter as I did enjoy it most of the time. Vampire politics would always be a part of my life, just as human politics were a part of their life, though they did not realize it to the same extent, though their politics dictated their day to day activities at such an extreme level. And sadly my job and politics did put her life in danger as people wanted to abuse her abilities. Which is why I was so protective!

I did insult her possessions but that's only because she deserved so much more and I could provide her with things more acceptable for her. I knew she did not want to be a 'kept woman' and wanted to do things on her own and for herself. I admired that aspect of her personality. So many people these days took advantage of wealth and she refused to use what was offered to her. I would not give up on this. Maybe a different tactic...

Her concerns that affected me the most though are her life ones. There were the silly ones such as jewellery and food. I could not wear silver or eat garlic (or any food for that matter) either. Was that not a small sacrifice to pay to be with someone who wanted you for who you are? There were the more pressing ones though. We could never spend our days together. I could never laugh with her in the sunlight or go to a matinee movie with her. Yes, she intoxicated other vampires, but she was MINE so I could kill them if they touched her. I did not know what would happen as she aged. It was her physical beauty that first attracted me to her, but I have come to care about her for so much more than that. As she aged I may need other blood donors, due to her increasing physical frailty, but my heart would still be hers.

The most pressing one was the children. I knew that Sookie would love to have children and I could never offer her that. There was adoption, but it is not yet legal for vampires to adopt. And she would love to be pregnant and would look so beautiful carrying a child. We could select a donor so that could happen but the thought of Sookie carrying another man's child upset me.

I put down the list and sighed as I leaned back on the bed. I wanted to be the man that Sookie wanted and deserved. But I could not be until we spoke to each other and discussed these things. But I wanted to do whatever it took to work through the issues.

I sat up with a new resolve. Sookie knew that I wanted to talk to her about our relationship since I regained my memories. She wouldn't sit down to discuss things. That was going to change.

I stood up off the bed and stripped off the Merlotte's uniform. I fought the urge to burn the ghastly clothing and instead examined Sookie's magnificent body in the mirror before putting on a white lacy bra, getting it on a lot faster this time, and a matching thong. After 2 minutes in the thong I changed into bikini briefs. How Sookie wore those things I didn't know. It was unbelievably uncomfortable! Looking in her closet I knew exactly what I was going to wear. I pulled out the white sundress with red flowers that Sookie wore the first time she came into Fangtasia.

I dressed and walked out of the room and saw Pam watching Sookie's Buffy DVDs. As she laughed I decided to try again to get her to tell me what was going on.

"You know what's going on," I stated.

"Yes, Buffy is a vampire slayer. It says so in the title of the show."

"You know of what I speak."

Pam simply stated, "Victor is waiting," and walked out the door.

'_If I had my vampire strength I would stake you right now, my child,' _I thought as I angrily followed her to her car.

***

Sookie's POV

'_Stop looking at me you fangbanging slut!'_ I glared at the less than half naked skeleton dancing in front of me. '_Get some kind of life. Get some kind of confidence. Get some self respect!'_

How could these people thing this was appealing? Sure they were offering sex and food to vampires, but they were disgusting!

The fangbanger tried to smile sexily at me as she moved closer. '_Don't even think of doing it bitch. Don't even think of talking to me. Or touching me.'_

The thought that Eric had been with this kind of person many many times was repulsive. I knew that he had needs so he was required to indulge, but it was Eric. He found fangbangers like this repulsive too. I couldn't bear to have one touching his body. To see one touching his body, even if it wasn't him in it. It made me want to vomit.

The skinny slut reached for my foot. I was about to kick her away (a lot harder than was required) when one of the humans on staff approached with the phone and whispered "It's Sookie, Master."

'_Oh thank God!' _"Go away," I hissed at the fangbanger. She attempted to smile seductively at me as she bowed and danced (as a slut) away from me.

Thinking of Eric as I answered, I smirked as I said "I am here. I've wanted to say that for a while without sounding stupid." It was true. Ever since Eric answered with that I thought it was hilarious.

As Eric and I discussed the situation without detail I felt a myriad (word calendar) of emotions. Sadness. Trust. Relief. Courage. Helplessness. Bravery.

As we were finishing up the phone call the fangbanger started to approach again. Of course at that time Eric told me not to do anything he wouldn't do.

"I don't know what you wouldn't do." The fangbanger smiled up at me as she caressed her breasts as she danced and I whispered to myself "or who."

As we hung up from our phone call I made the decision to ignore the vermin in front of me. Eric would be here soon. We'd talk about the situation. We'd do whatever the hell Victor needed us to do. We'd remedy the situation. And then... well, then we'd take it from there.

I removed my eyes from the disgusting human in front of me and tented my hands as Eric did. I popped my fangs (which was the easiest part of being Eric, actually) and let my eyes roam over the bar.

'_At least I haven't gotten horny or hungry. Yet.'_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N****: Thank you again for all of the reviews. You guys are amazing and get me writing when I feel lazy. This one has a bit of everything. And we get one step closer to Seric and Erkie meeting up... Muahahahaha!**

**I still don't own anything. Except the groceries I recently bought.**

*******

Sookie's POV

So far ignoring the fangbangers seemed like it was working. The one from earlier that I had decided to think of as Slutty McBloodbag had moved away and was dancing in front of another vampire, though she kept looking back at me. I was starting to notice her pulse point in her neck though. My fangs ran down. I was getting hungry.

Luckily, though, Eric had his employees well trained. I looked towards the bar and Felicia nodded and put a True Blood in the microwave. One of the waitresses brought it over to me immediately after she shook it, and I gulped it down hungrily. Unfortunately, I had been staring at Slutty McBloodbag's pulse point while I drank. She took that to mean I was interested and started to dance towards me again.

My fangs retracted as I tore my eyes from her neck and tented my fingers again, putting a calm mask on Eric's face as I looked over the bar. I tried to open the bond again to feel for Eric and see if he and Pam were almost here. Again I felt nothing. Not even the quiet presence that let me know he was alive. I felt that in a way I missed it.

'_But this is the perfect opportunity to sort through your feelings,' _I thought to myself. And I knew this was an opportunity I might not have again. I could try to work through what I felt and wanted without feeling influenced.

'_I wish I had my pros and cons list here...' _I thought before I felt my eyes widen, '_It was on my bedside table! Oh my goodness, Eric must have seen it! Dang dang dang!'_

I put my mask back on my face (luckily I had a lot of practice hiding what I was thinking) and calmed myself down. I knew that I couldn't help whether Eric saw the list or not. And if he did, maybe it was good for him to see what my issues with him/us were.

I knew that I trusted him with my life. He would do anything possible to save me. He wouldn't risk his own life though. '_But what good would he do you if he were dead? If he died, you'd just be taken by another vampire who wouldn't give you any choices or freedom and who wouldn't be as caring as Eric. One who would force you to do things you didn't want at all. You wouldn't want him to let himself die for you. You wouldn't be able to live with the guilt or the heartbreak.' _

Heartbreak? Would my heart be broken if Eric died? I mean, sure, I'd be upset. I couldn't deny that I'd become attached to the Viking. That I was glad he was part of my life. That I did care for him. But wasn't heartbreak something that you felt if something happened to someone you loved? I wasn't quite ready to deal with that emotion yet.

I hated how arrogant and possessive he was. How he thought he knew what was best for me. '_His plans usually do work out for the best and get the desired results and keep you as far away from danger as possible, though. I guess 1000 years on Earth would help him be a good decision maker...' _And how he wouldn't even let me hug my friends without getting jealous. '_Can he not understand that I would never be able to cheat on someone that I'm involved with? And that everyone knows that about me? If I'm with Eric, I'm __**with **__Eric. Sam, Alcide, Bill, Calvin... they are just friends and they all know that I'm nothing if not loyal to those important to me. They are just friends and I'm entitled to treat them as such, no matter if they're men or women.'_ And how he always complained about my possessions. '_I can't exactly afford a mansion and a Lamborghini or anything, Eric. I do my best to have the best that I can with what I have. And yes, you could buy me things, but I don't want to have a 'sugar daddy'. If I can't afford it, then I don't really need it... a strange way of thinking, but it's my way of thinking. Why can't he accept that? Maybe he thinks I deserve better? He does try to treat me like a princess when he's being sweet and caring Eric. Maybe he thinks I deserve to live as such? I know he doesn't mean to insult me, but his constant complaints make me feel so worthless compared to everything he has.'_

And the sweetness. Sometimes he let me see glimpses of 'My Eric.' The Eric who put me first. Who wanted to do whatever it took to make me happy, even if it meant pretending to be interested in my trivial activities. The Eric who offered to give everything up for me. '_Real Eric has asked me to move in with him. He has shown caring tendencies when we're alone. And insecurities. Maybe 'My Eric' is really a part of the 'Real Eric'? Maybe he was in there all along?'_

But 'My Eric' would never have tricked me into forming a blood bond and a vampire marriage, or whatever it was that we had. '_But he did do it to save you. And Eric doesn't take things like that lightly. Letting someone, a human nonetheless, have access to his emotions and location? To possibly manipulate his emotions? Would he have risked that if he didn't truly care about you? Yes, the bond sucks a lot and is confusing, but have you not loved it at times? Did you not admit to yourself earlier that you missed it? Is it not nice knowing how the person you're with is feeling? Almost like reading his mind without all the annoying thoughts involved.'_

Eric was an amazing person. No, he wasn't human, but he was a person. Caring, considerate, loyal, ruthless, mean, vicious, passionate, demanding, stubborn, sensitive, insensitive, tender, infuriating, loving, lovable... loving? Lovable?

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed that my eyes had returned to Slutty McBloodbag's pulse point and my fangs had run down. I also noticed a bit of a twitch in my pants.

'_Damn it, hurry up Eric!'_

***

Pam's POV

It was frustrating, while amusing, to annoy Eric as I was. I was enjoying not having to obey to his demands. And him not being able to use physical force to get what he wanted from me. I had to force myself not to burst into laughter as he had to resort to glaring at me.

"I am hungry," Eric said as we were en route to Fangtasia.

"Alright," I said with a smirk as I continued driving, "Good for you."

"I need food," He stated simply.

"Yes, one usually does require feeding to appease their hunger," I replied. I wasn't going to make things easy for him.

"Get me food," he demanded with a glare.

"Is that any way to speak to a vampire who is also feeling a bit peckish?" I asked as I looked at the neck that belonged to Sookie. "You know how I have craved tasting Sookie's blood..."

"Damn it Pamela, there is a McDonald's ahead on the right. Humans seem to enjoy eating the disgusting grease that comes from there. I am starving."

"Alright," I said with a laugh as I pulled in to the McDonald's parking lot and Eric practically jumped out of the car and I reached into my handbag. "Oh," I called out after him, causing him to turn around. I moved at vampire speed up to him and handed him what I grabbed from my handbag. "I took this from the witch's bathroom. I smell Sookie's blood." He blanched as he looked at the tampon that was now in his hand.

I burst into laughter as he ran into the McDonald's and looked at the restroom doors. "Women's," I whispered as I reached him. He glared at me again as he pushed his way in.

As he was taking care of female human business, I drifted into downtime, though I allowed my thoughts to run free.

The frustrating part of this scenario was also the amusing part: not being able to share everything with my master. It was something that Amelia and I had agreed on, and was also part of the magic Niall had put on the spell.

Amelia and I were physically unable to explain the spell to Eric and Sookie. No matter how we were asked we could not state what we had done and how to rectify it. It was something that Eric and Sookie would have to figure out on their own. It would also force them to take advantage of the situation and look at their feelings honestly and without any influence from anyone else. It was also the reason that Amelia had to guard her thoughts. Niall was unable to work his magic to transform Amelia's thoughts, so when around Sookie's telepathy she had to sing to herself or distract herself.

It was genius really. Eric was very intelligent though, and I was not surprised at how quickly he surmised that Amelia was involved. I also knew that he would be infuriated at being involved in another witch's spells. But I did know my master better than anyone and I knew that in time he would understand it was for the greater good.

I snapped out of downtime as Eric grumpily left the restroom and glared at me again.

"Careful," I warned with my smirk again, "We don't want Sookie's beautiful face to wrinkle prematurely from all that glaring."

Eric just glared at me more as he approached the counter and ordered a Big Mac meal (supersized), and a chicken nugget meal (also supersized), and a McFlurry.

***

Eric's POV

I was happy to get out of the McDonald's. After being stuck with just Pam for the past little bit I had forgotten about Sookie's telepathy until I was again surrounded by humans. How does it make sense to order deep fried food and then get a diet Coke, while wondering about your weight? The food, however, made up for it. Though covered with loads of grease and being dangerously unhealthy, I surmised that McDonald's was even better than the meal I had for breakfast. Absolutely delicious. I knew I would no longer be disgusted when I saw humans ingest the fatty fried goodness.

I tried to open the bond to sense how Sookie was feeling and faring and again was struck with nothingness. I was frustrated as I had become accustomed to knowing her every whim and emotion. Though her... feelings... could be irritating at time (especially when I felt lust when I was not around) I enjoyed knowing what was happening in her life. I had thought that it was similar to her telepathy in a way, but now I knew that what we had together was a gift; her telepathy was more of a curse in many ways.

Though it went against my better nature, I felt myself getting anxious. I knew we would soon be at Fangtasia and did not know how Sookie and I would fare around each other. Would Victor put me to work at reading minds immediately, or would he wait until closing. Would he give us time to talk before getting started?

I was surprised to find that my anxiety was not related to Sookie's performance of being me. I found that though I had said it before, I had absolute faith in her and her portrayal of me. We knew each other so well that she would easily be able to pass for me, as long as she kept a mask on to cover her nervousness and she was used to masking what she was feeling.

I looked to my left and saw that Pam looked at me curiously.

"What," I snapped.

"Your pulse is racing and you are breathing heavily," she stated with some surprise.

I did not reply.

"If I didn't know you any better, I'd surmise that you were nervous!" She had the gall to smile at that.

"If I were experiencing nervousness, should you not be worried at the fact that I was doing so? As it is, I am merely annoyed at Victor for coming and looking forward to seeing how my bonded is faring as me."

"Mmhmm," Pam said with a smirk, indicating her disbelief.

"You could make this situation better by simply telling me what you know about the situation. And do not pretend that you did not participate in this spell with the witch."

"I honestly cannot say anything about what you are experiencing," she stated, and for once I wished that Sookie could read vampire minds.

We arrived at Fangtasia and got out of the car. We headed to the main entrance, and I took a deep breath as we walked inside.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here it is: Eric and Sookie meet! I don't know if I love how it turned out, but I don't hate it. I hope you guys enjoy. And thank you for all of the amazing reviews I've been getting. You guys encourage me to write and keep me going! I love each and every one of you. I wish I could package up mini-Erics and ship them off to all of you as presents thanking you for your kind words.**

**As always I own nothing. Because if I did each of you would have a mini-Eric arriving at your door right now (I'd keep the full life size Viking for myself, though). Enjoy!**

**  
*****  
Eric's POV

We arrived at Fangtasia and got out of the car. We headed to the main entrance, and I took a deep breath as we walked inside.

'_Oh god, there's that whore again.'_  
'_What does he see in her?'_  
'_Nice rack.'_  
'_I so need to get bitten tonight.'_  
'_He wants me. I know he wants me.'_  
'_She looks way to pure for him. I can give him what he needs.'_  
'_I need to fuck a vampire tonight!'_  
'_I'd like to see what she could do to me. Fucking hot!'_  
'_He looks like he'd be a good first time vampire fuck. I wonder if he'd take me on his throne...'_  
'_Fucking blonde whore. She doesn't deserve a powerful vampire like him. I'm so much hotter.'_  
'_Should I have worn the red corset?'_  
'_She doesn't fit in here. Fucking sundress? Go back to the fucking tea room.'_  
'_I'd like to bend her over and take her in the...'_

"What's the matter?" Pam whispered in my ear.

I realized I had stopped walking and turned to look at her, unable to speak.

"Eric? You look... sick."

"The thoughts." I finally whispered back. "The things the vermin are thinking about..."

"Can't you block them out?" Pam asked.

I just shook my head as Pam led me into the bar. I hated this. The telepathy, the uncertainty... I felt so... human!

'_How does Sookie do this? Why does she do- this? Why does she continue to associate with vampires? How does she come back to Fangtasia knowing what people are thinking about her?'_

I was finally realizing why Sookie hated getting involved in my world. All that she had to go through. I really needed to do something to make things up to her or to apologize to her. I was struggling and I had not even really had to do anything yet! How and why does she do this?

'_She cares about you.'_ I thought to myself. '_Or she thinks you will kill her or her family if she does not do what she is told. Or that you would 'sell' her to the highest bidder. Fuck!'_

"Eric," Pam looked at me with as much concern as she could muster, "I know I don't usually talk to you like this, but get your fucking shit together! Victor is sitting in your booth expecting you to perform using Sookie's telepathy tonight. And from here it looks like she's doing a better job being you than you are being her. So get your head out of your ass and deal with it before you get everyone killed."

I finally looked over to my throne. I held back a gasp as I saw myself sitting with my fangs out, hands tented, a calm mask on my face. I also saw my eyes staring at the neck of the fangbanger dancing in front of my body. I took a deep breath and nodded, knowing I needed to do this right.

"Good. Now go see Sookie and I'll handle Victor, hopefully giving you a bit of time alone before he needs you. Don't keep him waiting too long though." And with that Pam left me alone in Fangtasia, surrounded by the thoughts of others.

I walked to the throne. One of the waitresses handed me a gin and tonic along the way. I sipped at it numbly (first alcohol in 1000 years... delicious). As I approached Sookie. The fangbanger scoffed in disgust as she looked at me. She started rubbing her breasts in attempt to keep my (well, Sookie in my body) attention on her. She obviously knew who my bonded was.

Sookie tore her eyes from the fangbanger's neck and I saw relief and surprise in her (my) eyes as she saw me and took in her own body; a weird experience I knew. She glanced at Victor and Pam in my booth and then back at me with a question in her eyes. I nodded, indicating we had a bit of time to talk. Ignoring the fangbanger (who was thinking horrible thoughts about Sookie) we headed back to my office, where I locked the door.

***  
3rd Person

Eric couldn't help himself. He pulled Sookie into a tight hug. He found it a bit awkward at first, hugging his own body, but got over it, knowing it was Sookie inside.

He let go and looked at her in his body. "Thank gods you are alright," he said.

"Yeah, I didn't harm your body in any way," Sookie stated, knowing his arrogance.

Eric sighed, "I meant **you** are alright. I may be arrogant and cocky, Sookie, but you know that I am not devoid of feelings for you."

She knew that and felt abashed at his comment. "Sorry," she whispered. "This is just so weird. How have you been managing?"

Eric couldn't help himself, "I am sorry."

"What?" She asked, confused.

"I do not apologize well, but I am sorry for everything I have put you through these past couple of years."

"Eric," she started, reaching out for him.

"No," he interrupted, moving out of reach. "I was aware for your hatred of your telepathy but I had assumed that you were just complaining. You do tend to complain a lot." She glared at him before he continued, "I regret how my kind... and I, have abused your ability. It truly is horrible!"

"It's ok," she whispered.

Eric reached out and grabbed her hands, "It is not okay. If we fix... this, I will fix it. And how do you stand coming in here, and being around me, knowing what those people are thinking about you? If I had my regular strength I would tear them limb from limb!"

"Eric!" Sookie said, moving her hands to rest them on his shoulders. "I'm used to it."

"You should not have to be accustomed to those things," he growled.

"Eric, you cannot help what people are thinking. It's when they say terrible things out loud that I get upset now."

"I still hate that you have to live this way," he muttered.

"I guess that's a benefit of this... whatever this is," Sookie said, gesturing between them. "We can understand each other a bit more. You haven't been able to block the thoughts?"

Eric shook his head, "I guess that some abilities aren't working with this switch. You probably didn't get my flying ability..."

Sookie just grinned at him, "Really?" He asked, surprised, "You figured out how to fly?"

"It took a few tries, but that's how I got here."

"That's amazing!" Eric stated. "Damn it, why can't I figure out how to block thoughts?"

"Eric, it took me my whole life to get to the point I'm at in blocking thoughts. It requires a lot of focus and force of the mind to keep the thoughts out. I'm sorry you're bombarded with them"

Eric looked up at Sookie's face (well, his own face) as she spoke and simply stated "you need blood."

"Excuse me?" Sookie asked, stunned at the sudden topic change and the choice of new topic.

"You need blood," he stated again. The vampire's skin was extremely pale and gaunt. He had not fed from a human since the last time he was with Sookie, so Eric knew that he needed human blood and not just True Blood. Plus the extra strength that would be gained from the nutrients in her blood. He didn't know what they might face with Victor. And he knew it would look good for them as a couple if Sookie's neck was marked with a recent biting from her bonded Viking.

While Eric was thinking, Sookie insisted "I've already had a few True Bloods tonight."

Eric explained to her about his lack of feeding and the benefits that would be gained from taking human blood before facing Victor. Sookie felt elated at first when she knew he was faithful to her and a bit disappointed in herself for doubting him. Then she felt disgusted and a bit confused. "So basically you want me to bite and feed from, well, me? That's so weird! And gross."

"It is needed," Eric insisted. "I know that you are craving human blood. In addition to what I know of my feeding, I saw you staring at that fangbanger's neck. I don't know how much longer you would be able to resist a human."

"Who, Slutty McBloodbag?" Sookie asked. Eric snorted at the nickname she made for the fangbanger. "It was better than staring at any other part of her."

"Tell me Sookie, were you feeling aroused?"

Sookie remembered the twitch she felt in Eric's pants when staring at the fangbanger's neck and looked down.

"Do not be embarrassed," Eric said, "You were not aroused by, what was her name, Slutty McBloodbag? It was the blood lust. You need human blood. And I would hate for my lack of promiscuity to be forfeit because you turned down my favourite source."

Sookie closed her eyes and took an unnecessary breath. "Would it be like drinking my human blood or like your vampire blood? I mean, did our blood follow us into these bodies or stay? Cause I really don't want any more vamp blood right now."

Eric thought about it for a moment, "I assume that our blood stayed in our bodies. I believe that it was just our minds and personalities that switched."

"Will you talk me through it? Tell me the right way so that your body gets food and mine doesn't get hurt?"

"Of course, lover."

Sookie smiled when Eric called her by his favourite nickname. He grabbed her hand and led her over to the couch. When she saw where they were going she panicked. "We don't have to have sex, do we? Cause I really don't want to have sex with myself."

Eric laughed, "No lover, we do not require sex. But do not be surprised if you become very aroused."

Sookie nodded, a bit timidly. Eric positioned them so they were sitting next to each other on the couch, and brushed his ponytail to the side. He leaned to elongate his neck and put his finger over the right part.

"Right here," he said, and Sookie focused on his finger. "I will leave my finger here until the last moment so you know where to bite. Use a bit of force but do not attack it. You do not want to be too soft or it will be harder to puncture the skin. Then start drinking and sucking to get the blood out."

Sookie nodded, "That sounds easy enough. Disgusting and scary, but easy enough."

Eric smiled before he continued. "As I said, it has been a while since I have ingested blood from the source. That will make it very hard for you to stop drinking. Imagine..." Eric thought, "Imagine as though you haven't eaten all day and then you're at a McDonald's... how hard it would be to stop yourself from eating their French fries."

Sookie laughed, "You had McDonald's? Please don't fatten me up!"

"The grease bag was delicious! And you know I adore your curves, the more the merrier!"

Sookie kept smiling and Eric continued with his instructions. "As I was saying, it will be very difficult to stop drinking. You must listen to me when I instruct you to stop. No matter how hard it is to pull away, you must listen to me and stop. If you do not it could be very harmful to your body, and possibly my mind."

Sookie sobered from her earlier amusement and nodded. She looked at Eric's finger still resting on Sookie's neck and saw the pulse underneath. Her fangs ran out.

Eric nodded. "Are you ready?"

Sookie closed her eyes and nodded again. As she approached her own neck Eric moved his finger away. He hissed at the pain when the fangs punctured his skin.

Sookie moaned and started drinking deeply as she drank the blood. She felt herself getting aroused as she drank. '_My blood really is delicious!'_ She thought to herself. Beside her she heard a moan come from her own body. She kept drinking deeply until she heard a whispered "Stop."

She knew Eric said it would be hard to stop drinking but she found she couldn't pull away and kept lapping up the blood. "Stop drinking," she heard again, this time in a harder voice and followed by hands pushing her chest.

Forcing herself to stop with all the willpower she had she pulled away after licking over the wounds to stop the bleeding.

Licking her lips she smiled. "Wow that was... yum!"

Eric laughed, "Now you know how I feel every time you let me taste you." He looked down, "and you understand what your blood does to me."

Sookie looked down embarrassed to see just what her blood did to Eric's body. "Oh my god!" She exclaimed, covering her crotch.

"Do not be embarrassed," he said, "it is a natural part of feeding. All vampires experience arousal at feeding. I myself enjoyed the experience of being bitten. It was exciting and arousing in its own way."

"It can be pretty great," Sookie said. We smiled at each other in understanding as our arousal calmed down and Sookie's fangs retracted.

"We have a lot to talk about and figure out tonight, but no time at the moment" Eric said. Sookie nodded, knowing they had a long list of things to discuss, and not just their freaky switcheroo, though that was going to be their most pressing topic.

"Let's get this whole Victor thing finished with," she said, taking Eric's hand and standing up.

"You look really good in that dress, by the way," she stated with a smirk as they left the office.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I apologize for the delay. I had no motivation to write this chapter so I kind of had to force this one out. I don't particularly like it but it offers more Eric/Sookie interaction and the start of the dealings with Victor. Pam and Bill hang around a bit too...**

***

"We have a lot to talk about and figure out tonight, but no time at the moment" Eric said. Sookie nodded, knowing they had a long list of things to discuss, and not just their freaky switcheroo, though that was going to be their most pressing topic.

"Let's get this whole Victor thing finished with," she said, taking Eric's hand and standing up.

"You look really good in that dress, by the way," she stated with a smirk as they left the office.

Sookie stopped Eric abruptly and turned around heading back inside.

"What is it?" he asked as he shut the door behind them.

"We need a game plan," she said.

'_Did Sookie gain my ability to think straight? We were about to head out there without a plan!' _Eric though, mentally slapping himself.

"You need to make sure you act like me." She stated simply.

"Is that all," Eric scoffed.

Sookie rolled her eyes. "I can tell you haven't been having the best success as me. You need to make sure you control your temper when we're out there. I don't want Victor to kill you. Well me. Or you."

"Did he say something earlier to insinuate that I would lose my temper?" Eric asked.

"Well no, nothing aside from threatening to take me away if I didn't agree to his demands," she said, looking down at her hands.

"And what was your response?"

"You're here, aren't you?"

'_She doesn't want to go. That's a start,' _Eric thought to himself. '_Though Victor is not exactly appealing, so that doesn't mean much.'_

"Has he threatened us before?" Sookie asked, scared. It was odd for Eric to hear his voice coming out so timidly.

"Many times," Eric replied simply, "But I always deny him. Sometimes he threatens. Sometimes he offers a deal, but I always deny him."

Sookie looked up and saw the sincerity in Eric's eyes and couldn't help a sad smile. "Are they good deals?"

"Excellent deals. But I would rather you stay with me. Unless you wanted to leave," Eric said with some nervousness about her response.

"I'd rather stay," she whispered. "But back to the topic," she switched with a stronger voice, "you need to control your temper, no matter what. And the thoughts..."

Eric shuddered involuntarily at the thought of being surrounded by so many people's thoughts once again, "we will bring Victor and the humans who need reading back here so I'm not so... overwhelmed."

"Of course, why didn't I think of that?"

Eric smirked knowing that he had finally said something smart.

"If you have a hard time reading their thoughts, you should touch them. It gives me a better... connection." Sookie said. "And you can try to guide their thoughts with the right questioning."

Eric nodded as she continued, "And try not to let on to anything – wait to talk to Victor until the person has left the room if possible. And please remind him that humans should not be killed from what we find out through my telepathy." The pleading sounded odd coming from Eric's voice, but he nodded anyways.

"You seem to be doing well as me," Eric said to Sookie, "but you need to make sure to respect Victor. Just a nod of the head since he's Felipe's second, but he's still just a sheriff like me."

Sookie nodded in understanding.

"And control your emotions. No crying, no saying the first thing that comes to your mind. No laughing or anything of the sort. Just remain stoic." Sookie nodded, thankful that 'stoic' was a word of the day recently, "I'll try my best." She knew he wasn't insulting her emotionality, but just guiding her to be the best Eric she could be.

"We cannot just 'try', Sookie," Eric said, seriously and leaning in towards her, "we must 'do'. I do not know what Victor would do if he knew about our situation, however I am certain that we would not like his response."

They stood up again and Sookie smiled, "Hey, on the bright side, you get to be 'me' and be a bit ballsy around him. Be stubborn and difficult like you think I am."

Eric squeezed her hand, "just one of the many things I adore about you."

As they again reached the door Sookie put her 'Eric Mask' in place, Eric put on his 'Crazy Sookie' smile and Sookie muttered to him "just breathe, the voices will be overwhelming."

Eric took a deep breath and they left the office and started walking to his booth where Victor, Pam and someone else sat waiting.

'_What the hell is Bill doing here?' _They both thought angrily.

***  
Eric's POV

'_She didn't have those fang marks before she went in there...'_  
'_Why the fuck does he want her?'_  
'_Fuck he's gorgeous!'_  
'_I dink I'm thrunk.'_  
'_He'll tire of her soon enough and come back to me.'_  
'_If she had come 5 minutes later it'd be me leaving his office with fang marks. He loved my dancing, I know it!'_  
'_I love this song!'_  
'_Nice tits. Too bad she's fucking a fanger.'_  
'_I'd like to see those tits bouncing as I pound into her.'_  
'_I wonder if he's proportionate.'_

The thoughts were overpowering. I had to force myself to keep the 'Crazy Sookie' smile in place as I dealt with the horrible thoughts of the vermin and the fact that I once again had to deal with Compton. I did not know which I was dreading more: Compton or Victor.

"Miss Stackhouse," Victor said as he stood and took my hand from Sookie's to kiss it. I had to hide my cringe as Pam hid a smirk. She remained seated but Compton stood angrily.

"Victor," I replied with a head bob akin to the Sookie used.

I saw Sookie nod her head at Victor and then look at Compton. My smile turned genuine when I heard her acknowledgement of him. A simple, terse, "Compton."

Compton's eyes were not on her though; they were glaring at the fresh fang marks he saw on the neck he believed to belong to Sookie. The fang marks he knew were not there earlier.

"Sheriff," he grumbled in response, his eyes never leaving my neck.

"Well, now that we've all reacquainted ourselves, shall we get to business?" Pam said gleefully. If I did not know better, I would think she was enjoying this situation. I slid in next to Pam and Sookie sat next to me, leaving an even angrier Compton to sit next to Victor. Being surrounded by vampires caused me to not notice the other voices quite so much. '_No wonder she associates with us.'_

"What brings you to Fangtasia this evening, Compton?" Sookie asked, none of the anxiety I was sure she was feeling evident in her voice he finally looked at her as he replied.

"I was hoping to discuss urgent matters with you, Sheriff," Compton replied.

"And what matters would those be?" She inquired, putting boredom into her voice. "As you can see I have a guest this evening. Could your 'urgent matters' as you put it wait until tomorrow?"

Pam, Victor and I all smirked as we watched Bill's discomfort increase. I knew that he wanted to discuss how 'different' Sookie had acted this evening and express his anger at how I had 'changed her.'

Victor was enjoying the entertainment, "Compton, what are these 'urgent matters'? Perhaps your sheriff and I, along with Ms. Ravenscroft and Miss Stackhouse could assist you?"

"That will not be necessary, Sheriffs," Compton growled as he glared at Sookie and left the booth. "I will return another evening."

"If he weren't such a money-maker for the state," Victor stated, shaking his head at Compton's retreating form.

"I believe our lovely telepath here would be rather disappointed if anything were to happen to her former lover, Sheriff," Pam said, grinning at me, "isn't that right Sookie?"

With my 'Crazy Sookie' smile in face I glared at Pam. "I don't wish for the people I care about to be hurt." That was honest at least. I just wasn't talking about Compton.

"You did not mention earlier, Victor, what your reason for requiring my pledged this evening." My heart leapt at Sookie's words, at her acknowledgement of our pledging. She and Pam then looked at me oddly. '_My pulse is racing! They know how happy I am.'_

Victor nodded as Sookie got us back on track. "Yes, of course. Always one to get business over and done with before pleasure, aren't you Northman. Shall we retreat to your office?"

Sookie stood up and we all followed her back to my office. She sat at my desk chair as Pam and Victor sat on the couch. I took a chair in front of the desk.

"Well, I am pleased that your beautiful bonded was able to accommodate me on such short notice, Northman."

'_Not like you left much choice.'_

"Was it any trouble getting the lovely Sookie here this evening?" He continued.

"Excuse me, I am sitting right here," I said before I could stop myself. Pam's eyes widened in shock as Victor's held nothing. Sookie looked amused.

'_I suppose we do talk as though she weren't privy to our conversations quite a bit.'_

"Yes, of course Miss Stackhouse," Victor said with a smile, his fangs running out "how very rude of me. Thank you for offering your services this evening. And might I say, you smell divine this evening."

I offered no response but shifted in my seat, knowing Sookie's menstruation was the cause

"Victor..." Sookie warned. Though she hid it well I could tell she was embarrassed.

"My apologies Northman," Victor said, retracting his fangs.

"Once again, the reason for your visit this evening," Sookie prodded, trying to get this over as soon as possible.

"Right. Well my reasons for being here are twofold. Some money has gone missing from my estate and I would like to know who has taken it. The perpetrator will be taken care of once found, but I would also like the thoughts of the humans closest to me to be read to ensure their intentions are sound."

Knowing that Victor was watching us I looked at Sookie who nodded at me. I knew she was saying that she was okay with her skills being used for this purpose. Victor took it to mean I was being a 'good little human' and asking 'my vampire' permission. Then Sookie raised her eyebrows at me.

Remembering our earlier agreement I addressed Victor, "I will do it, but only if you can promise me that whoever is responsible will be handed over to the police and not dealt with in any bloody vampire way."

Victor addressed Sookie while keeping his eyes on me, "Sheriff, I suggest your human remember to whom she is speaking when she makes requests regarding vampire justice. This person has been wronging me, I have the right to deal with the criminal as I see fit."

Remaining calm, though I knew she would like nothing more than to scream, Sookie responded, "that has always been the arrangement my bonded has offered when her services are being rendered. She will do what is asked with her telepathy and all she asks in return is that the person responsible is not killed. Stan Davis can inform you that her requests were the same when she assisted him."

I was satisfied with Sookie's responses to Victor. She really would make an excellent vampire. Though I was beginning to realize that vampires did treat her in quite a demeaning manner. I was not fond of being treated as though I were a 1940s housewife without an opinion.

Victor's eyes narrowed at Sookie. "Very well. I do wish to remain on our telepath's good side so that I can have use of her in the future." Victor turned to look at me again, "I apologize again, Miss Stackhouse for discussing you as though you were not in attendance."

"Can we just get this over with?" I asked, channelling some of Sookie's delicious attitude.

"Very well," Victor responded before speaking to Pam. "Bring in the first human."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! I am so sorry that it's been almost 3 months since I updated this story! In that time I've gone through insane writers block, computer issues (hard drive crash, stolen external drive...), family issues, work issues... basically everything that could have happened did.**

**I'm still a bit stuck, but I'm going to try to keep this thing going. So if this chapter isn't insanely fantastic, I apologize. Hopefully I won't take too long next time.**

**Thank you for all the great reviews I've had so far. You guys are truly amazing. One in particular I'd like to address though deals with confusion. Some might be a bit confused about who I'm referring to if I mention Sookie/Eric, what with the switcheroo. So basically, if it's in Eric's POV, everything that he is experiencing is his persona in Sookie's body. If it's Sookie's POV it's his persona in Eric's body. If it's in 3****rd**** person, when it refers to Eric, it means his persona. If it refers to Sookie it means her persona (not body). Pam and Amelia know what's going on, so when they refer to Eric or Sookie, they are talking about their personas, not their bodies (so to Pam, 'Eric' means Eric's mind, personality, etc, in Sookie's body). I hope that clarified some things, and if not, again, sorry!!**

*******

**Eric's POV**

"Can we just get this over with?" I asked, channelling some of Sookie's delicious attitude.

"Very well," Victor responded before speaking to Pam. "Bring in the first human."

I took a deep breath and looked at Sookie who offered me a subtle smile and nod of encouragement. I hated that she thought I needed it, and I hated it even more that it seemed to help. I have experienced many things in my 1000 plus years, but this was all new. I seemed to be experiencing human emotions while in a human body. But then, I always knew that however fragile Sookie was, she constantly gave me strength.

Pam returned with a pitiful looking human male of about 35. He was below average in height with poor dental hygiene, mousey coloured hair, beady eyes, and quite a bit of sweat covering his body.

Nobody moved as the man stood in front of me, wondering where he was supposed to sit. Knowing that as a 'human' I was lowest on the totem pole here, I brought a spare chair from the corner of the office directly in front of the one I had been occupying and the pitiful human, Adam, his mind was telling me, sat on it.

Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and giving my head a small shake in resignation, I braced myself as I placed one of my hands over one of his clammy ones.

'_Why are we here? Why is this hot chick touching me? I want her to be touching me, fuck, those tits, but why? She has fang marks, she doesn't look like a fangbanger? What's going on? Is she going to fuck me in front of these vampires?'_

"Adam," I said, snapping him from his thoughts of my bonded, "do you know why you are here?"

"Um, not really..." '_Sherriff just told us we were going to a famous vampire bar in Shreveport. And that he was disappointed in us. But why? And if he was disappointed why would we get to go to a famous vampire bar? And why would this gorgeous woman be touching me?'_

"Do you know who I am?" I asked, for Victor's sake.

"No," Adam replied honestly, "Do you belong to one of the vampires here? And why are you asking me questions?"

I smiled to myself, fully channelling Sookie, "I am Sookie Stackhouse and I am my own person, however Sheriff Northman," I gestured to Sookie sitting behind my desk, "is my husband and blood bonded."

Victor did not look pleased to see Sookie (well me as Sookie) acknowledging her connection to me, and Sookie (as me) had just my signature small smirk on her face. '_Interesting,' _I thought to myself. Adam just thought that Sherriff Northman was a lucky bastard. '_That I am.'_

"As for your second question, Adam, my bonded has been asked if he could use my services to ask your Sherriff's staff some questions. I am very good at getting answers." I could see Pam holding back a laugh at how restrained and indulgent I was being. The only thing holding me back from punishing her (or attempting to) was the fact that at the moment I needed to be Sookie. Sookie was the most kind, caring, considerate, comforting, loving, wonderful, amazing being I had ever met. She would be friendly in this moment.

Adam just nodded. '_Sookie... weird name. She's so beautiful. And so nice.'_

I smiled. Having been exposed to vulgar and insulting thoughts about Sookie all day it was nice to 'hear' someone thinking nicely of her.

"Adam, what do you do for the Sherriff?" I asked, finally getting to the topic.

"I'm his 'day man'. I do everything he needs to have done while he is unavailable."

His thoughts confirmed his job. "And how do you feel about your job?" '_Maybe I should get Sookie to read Bobby for me...' _I thought to myself,_ 'NO! I'm not going to get her to use her telepathy for me anymore!'_

"It's a good job. I like the money." _'I went to Harvard and I'm an assistant to a vampire. It's a bit beneath me, but good money, good benefits... at least I'm not cleaning his house or anything. Wish I had more time off though. Decent boss. A bit mean sometimes.'_

"So you would be aware if anything was amiss in the Sheriff's area?" I inquired.

"Not with everything. I just deal with the daily stuff. Sherriff Madden has others dealing with his meals, his money, or any other night-time stuff."

"So you wouldn't know if any money went missing?"

'_Who the fuck would steal from Sherriff Madden?' _No, Miss_._

"Thank you Adam."

The human left the room and I informed Victor that his day man was clean.

The second through seventh humans went pretty much the same as Adam. His money man, some attractive fang bangers (who eyed Sookie quite a bit, though she kept her face expressionless, save a few glances at my direction where I smiled at her with reassurance.)

The eighth human came in and I knew immediately something was up.

***

**Sookie's POV**

To say I was scared would be an understatement. I was thanking heavens for my years of experience in concealing my emotions behind a mask. I forced myself to distance myself from the situation as much as possible, which wasn't very much, since I was watching the vampire I kinda, sorta, maybe, definitely, possibly, really loved use my telepathic abilities while trapped in my body to snoop around for a not so nice vampire who wants to buy or kidnap me from the vampire I absolutely, perhaps, love.

I was pleasantly surprised with how Eric was handling the interview process. He was acting pretty much how I would have acted and being generally considerate. '_Either he's an amazing actor or maybe My Eric is really part of him and he's just tapping into that right now. Or he's going to unleash a boatload of rage when he's done.'_

I really had to tamper down on my emotions when he told Adam that we were married. For the first time I wasn't angry at him about it. I know he considered us married, and that it was for Victor's benefit, but it was the first time I didn't really want to scream at him for it. I instantly knew that the pledging had been for my own safety and security and that it really did keep others away from me. Of course Victor's reaction to seeing 'Sookie' acknowledge the marriage was the final confirmation of its meaning. Eric really did care about my well being. I felt a small smirk on my face when I realized that the most gorgeous man I had ever seen cared so much about me.

It was horrible when Eric had to talk to the fangbangers Victor brought. I didn't doubt that he did want them checked out, but I was also pretty sure he brought his most beautiful ones to try to tempt him into straying from his wife. Testing the strength of our pledge. Absolute jealousy ran through me. It wasn't news to me that Eric was desirable and that he had probably partaken in fangbanging offers and gifts from other vampires quite a few times in the past, but that didn't mean I liked it. And for Victor to do that while 'Sookie' was in the room was just filthy.

Eric just offered me comforting smiles though. I knew he wouldn't have indulged if he were himself; he wouldn't forfeit his abstinence for a fangbanger at this point.

Of course Pam was holding back laughter through the whole ordeal. Amusement at Eric having to touch vermin and be compassionate, at Victor holding in his anger, at me having to bear it all.

And then came human number eight.

*******

**Eric's POV**

The eighth human was an attractive woman of about 25. From a distance and with a quick glance, she resembled Sookie, however up close there were few similarities. Sookie's blonde hair was natural, this woman's was pure peroxide. Sookie's breasts were natural, this woman's were silicone. Sookie's blue eyes sparkled, this woman's looked mischievous. And Sookie had a warm, inviting smile. This woman's held nothing but trouble. I had also had sex with her about 4 months earlier. Victor knew this.

"Hello Chloé," I said calmly as her eyes were on Sookie. I knew she was remembering our brief time together; the images flashing through her mind.

"Hmmm?" She said distractedly as her eyes remained focused on Sookie who was still putting on a calm facade.

"Chloé, I would appreciate it if you would stop staring at my husband and instead focus on me. Victor has asked me to ask some questions."

"Oh yeah?" She asked. '_Husband, huh? He sure wasn't married when he was fucking me! Fuck the guy knows what he's doing. Victor can't do what he can. I wonder if she knows he fucks around.'_

I debated how to proceed. Should I acknowledge her thoughts and possibly upset Sookie by essentially introducing her to someone I've had sex with. Should I ignore her thoughts and proceed with my questioning (which I now believed to be a futile attempt for Victor to upset Sookie and have her leave with him). Should I acknowledge I know what's going on but ignore the sex thoughts.

"Eric and I were pledged about a month ago," I said with a smile on my face. Sookie would take the high road.

"Congratulations," she said, sarcastically. '_Vampires don't do monogamy. I wonder if I can get him to fuck me tonight.' _

"Thank you," I replied. I was happy to be pledged to Sookie, "Eric is very dedicated to me and to us. Maybe someday it will be legally recognized in Louisiana."

As Pam smirked, I was satisfied that I let Chloé know there would in no way, shape or form that she was getting fucked by either version of Eric Northman, while also letting Sookie know how I felt about her and us.

Chloé's attention was finally snapped to me. '_Is she delusional? Whatever.' _

Victor was positively livid to see that his bait was not being taken and that the famed telepath was devoted to her vampire.

'_Wait, her vampire? Am I hers just as she is mine?'_

I decided to go through the completely unnecessary questioning. "Chloé, do you know why you're here?"

"No." '_Victor said Eric Northman would be here and some slutty woman he was fucking. That if I was lucky maybe I'd get to fuck the Viking tonight. That there'd be some pointless questioning to go through. Why anyone would steal from a vampire, I don't know, but I sure as hell know that nobody did. Is this chick just delusional or is the god really just sleeping with her?'_

I was fed up. "Nothing," I said as Pam led Chloé, who was still eyefucking Sookie, from the room.

I glared at Victor as Pam returned.

"Is something wrong Miss Stackhouse? Or is it Mrs. Northman, since you suddenly seem so pleased with your pledging."

"It's Sookie," I replied, "And yes, there is something wrong. I do not like being called to waste my time and telepathy so someone can test my devotion in Eric."

Sookie stiffened and looked at me with question in her eyes. I looked back, my eyes asking for her to stay calm.

Victor hissed, "Northman, you allow your human to speak to me like this?"

"If this entire night has indeed been a waste of time Victor, then yes, my wife may speak to you with the disrespect you have shown us."

'_Wife! She has acknowledged us again!' _

Sookie looked at me, "What did you hear?"

I sighed, resigned that I was going to have to inform her of my time with Chloé. "None of the humans knew anything about any money being stolen, nor were any thinking poor thoughts towards Victor. The last one, Chloé, was thinking about a night of sex you had with her months ago and that Victor said she may get to experience that again tonight. She also thought about how Victor informed her there would be some pointless questioning to go through, basically meaning this whole thing was set up."

I looked up at Sookie apologetically. To my surprise she laughed.

"Oh Victor. Do you think us so naive? Of course Sookie is aware that I have been with others, and that due to dealings with our kind she may come across some. Did you think that you could bring some people here to deal with bogus questioning just to spring some fangbanger on her, get her so upset she'd decide to leave me here with run off with you? And what, be your slave? Work solely for you? Be a sexual conquest?"

Pam and I both looked at Sookie in shock. If Victor were human he would be red with rage.

"Northman, the telepath is an asset that would be best used in a larger area and with easier access by the king. If it happens to come out about your ways, then so be it. It would be best if she came of her own free will, but you and I both know that I could simply take her. And while in my possession I can do with humans whatever I wish."

I started to stand up to argue, but Sookie beat me to it. "Madden," she began, standing to her full 6'5 and towering over the New Orleans Sherriff, "just how exactly do you plan on simply taking her? Sookie does not respond to glamour. She would be very tempestuous (I knew that was one of her words of the day) if she was forced to do something against her will, especially engage in sex with someone she did not have feelings for. We are blood bonded. We are pledged. She knows I have been with many, just as I know all about those she has been intimate with. How do you plan on doing this?"

I was impressed. Sookie not only stood up for herself but also for our relationship (whatever it may be at this point). She has never been shy to express herself no matter the company, but she laid everything out for Victor, detailing how he cannot just take her.

Victor and Sookie glared at each other, both with fully extended fangs, as she continued, "the King knows that her telepathy is available to him when needed, preferably with notice as she does have a life and does require my presence. She will also assist with matters in your area when an actual situation arises, again with notice and my presence. She will not, however, be moving to New Orleans or Las Vegas, nor will she be having sex with anybody but her husband, so you can get those ideas out of your head. Are we clear?"

Sookie was fuming at this point. Pam and I were both staring, open mouthed. Sookie had just put a powerful vampire in his place, while offering her services, acknowledging me as her husband and possibly consenting to have sex with me.

Victor left the office without another word.

"Goodness, that a-hole irritates the heck out of me!" Sookie exclaimed as her fangs retracted.

I couldn't help but laugh at her PG language and Sookie's eyes met mine, "Why are you laughing at me," she asked with a hurt that sounded odd coming from my deep voice.

"Oh Lover, you go from putting a very powerful vampire in his place to watching your language like a southern belle in a matter of seconds. It's one of the many reasons I adore you."

She looked away shyly, and if she could she would have been blushing.

Pam laughed at the reaction and the situation. "The two of you fared quite well in that situation as each other. Master, I never thought I would see you so kind and caring, and my telepathic friend, you never cease to amaze me. This whole situation is so very amusing."

Sookie and I looked at each other. She raised one eyebrow at me and I nodded with a smile.

"Pamela," Sookie said, turning to Pam, "as your maker I demand you tell us what happened to us and how to fix it."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Yay, a quick update (though it's not the longest of them)! And I've already started on the next chapter. It seems I'm over my writer's block, and there are only going to be a couple more chapters. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support you gave me after the last chapter. And hi to all the newbies to this weird freak of a story.**

**As per usual, I own nothing. Except my TV which has been glued to the Olympics coverage for the past week, especially figure skating (yay Evan Lysacek! And how awesome is Johnny Weir?) There are quite a few yummy boys in that sport. Hmmm... Sookie Stackhouse and Eric Northman as a pairs team (or solo-skaters) – Eric in tight sparkly clothes showing man-cleavage. Yum!**

**Ahem: Anyways, on with the show.**

*******

**Pam's POV**

I laughed at the whole situation. "The two of you fared quite well in that situation as each other. Master, I never thought I would see you so kind and caring. And my telepathic friend, you never cease to amaze me. This whole situation is so very amusing."

Eric and Sookie exchanged a look with each other before Sookie turned to me. In Eric's deep voice she said, "Pamela, as your maker I demand you tell us what happened to us and how to fix it."

I felt the magic of the maker/child magic pressing on me. It made me want to tell the truth but because of Niall's magic I physically couldn't. "I'm sorry, I can't."

"Yes you can," Eric demanded angrily, "your maker demanded you."

Sookie kept glaring at me as I looked back at her with sorrow in my eyes, "I wish that I could tell you, but I can't tell you anything about what's going on. It's the truth."

Sookie looked at Eric sadly. "I can feel it in my blood. She can't tell us. I think she knows something though, because there's guilt, but she can't tell us."

"Magic," Eric said to Sookie. "Powerful magic is the only thing that could possibly prevent compliance."

The two looked at each other with sadness in their eyes. Deciding that they should be left alone to discuss the situation, I quietly took my leave from the office.

Heading out into the bar, I surveyed the vermin as made a call on my cell phone.

"How's it going?" Amelia answered. "I'm just leaving Merlotte's now to head there."

"As well as can be expected," was my reply. "Victor staged the whole thing by bringing a fangbanger Eric fucked months ago, in attempt to make Sookie jealous and convince her to leave him."

"Is he really that stupid?"

"Apparently," I replied, waving away a particularly skinny and slutty fangbanger, dancing her way towards me as I sat in Eric's booth.

"Any news on our project?" The witch asked.

"It's not yet completed, but they're progressing. I have a feeling it won't be long."

***

**Sookie's POV**

I was vaguely aware of Pam leaving the room after my attempt at taking advantage of the maker/child relationship. Her guilt made it obvious that she was a part of this, but could not divulge any information.

"Damn it," Eric said, punching the wall. "Ouch!"

Even though he was harming my body, I couldn't help but laugh at him hurting himself in such a stupid way. Until the smell of my part fairy blood hit my nose and I was suddenly standing in front of him, fangs fully extended, eyes on the bloody hand.

A smirk came across Eric's face as he held out the hand for me to clean. I couldn't help myself. The blood was delicious! Of course the scent and taste made me harden, which in turn made Eric laugh at me.

"One good thing about being female," Eric said, "is that arousal is not quite obvious."

I smiled back at him, "One good thing about being male is that one does not need to use tampons. Or need to change them." I made a show of sniffing the air. I was embarrassed with myself for not being too embarrassed to make such comments. '_I'm turning into Eric!'_

Eric blanched and headed to the employee washroom. I assumed that they had any required products in there, as he came back just a few minutes later.

"What are we going to do?" I asked him. "No offense, but I don't want to be stuck in this body and life forever."

"I wouldn't mind being stuck in you," he said with a devious smirk that just seemed weird on my face, "but not in this manner. We need to figure this out."

I nodded and we both sat down, neither of us speaking for a few minutes. However my thoughts were not taken over by ways to fix the situation. I was thinking about the things Eric had said before.

'_He acknowledged that he doesn't own me. That's a huge start; he recognizes that if we are together I'm still my own person. And it did make me happy this time when he mentioned our pledging. It does seem kind of obvious now that he was looking out for me. And he mentioned maybe having it legal some day in Louisiana? I guess that might mean he didn't just do it for that reason... maybe he really does care and actually want to be married to me? And he said he's dedicated to me. I already know he hasn't been with anyone else since he remembered our time together, that kind of proves he cares, doesn't it?_

_But what about all of the concerns I've had about us. What about when I grow old? I can't have children if I let myself love him. I'd only be able to see him at night time. And all of the politics. Is it worth it?'_

I decided we needed to discuss these things. I was finally ready to talk about our relationship.

"Eric..."

***

**Eric's POV**

I didn't notice when Pam left my office. I was so furious that she could not tell us anything. She was obviously involved in some way but some form of magic. I had already surmised that the witch was involved. I knew she was very talented, but could she have done this all on her own?

My anger at everything took over me. The body swap, Victor's insolence, not knowing how to deal with a situation. I barely knew what I was doing before I heard Sookie's sweet voice shout out "Damn it" and felt pain in my hand. "Ouch!" I shouted. Apparently I had punched the wall. It wasn't quite as effective as a human.

Before I knew it there was a hungry vampire in front of me, fangs extended. Knowing how much I loved Sookie's blood, I smirked and contemplated not letting her clean it because of the times she had refused me her blood, but relented and held my hand out to her and let her clean up the injury. I knew it was just cut, no broken bones.

She had the usual erection that came with tasting blood and I couldn't help but laugh. "One good thing about being female is that arousal is not quite obvious." Though I was never embarrassed when I was hard. I knew I was impressive and that women quite enjoyed knowing how my body responded.

Sookie just smiled back at me. "One good thing about being male is that one does not need to use tampons. Or need to change them." I was surprised at her being so calm about discussing her period but I then blanched. It had been a few hours since I had changed the god forsaken tampon at McDonald's. Knowing the human staff kept personal products in their cubbies I left the office.

I searched through the individual cubbies until I found what I was looking for and went through the uncomfortable process and returned to the office.

Sookie looked dejected when I came back in. "What are we going to do? No offense, but I don't want to be stuck in this body and life forever."

I completely understood. As much as I enjoyed Sookie's body, and wanted to be stuck in it, it wasn't in this way, and I said as much.

We took seats at opposite ends of the office to quietly contemplate solutions to the problem. I wanted to fix things as much as possible, but I could not help myself from thinking about the things Sookie had said earlier, and the pros/cons she had thought about pertaining to our unique relationship, whatever it may be.

'_She smirked when I mentioned our pledging. Has she begun to accept it? I was looking out for her, though I did want to bind us together. She even acknowledged it when reacting to Victor's foolish plan. She said she would only have sex with people she had feelings for. I knew she had feelings for me, but what exactly are those feelings? She thought she loved Compton. She didn't know yet if she loved the tiger, but she could have ended up there. Is she falling in love with me? Is she already there? She said that she would only work for other vampires if I accompanied her. That seems to imply she wants me to be connected to her in some way for a long time. And she also said that she would only be having sex with me._

_But there were still issues. I was involved in vampire politics, which would undoubtedly drag her into them. And what about when she grows old? And children? And how would she feel about a part time relationship, since I'm only among the living for a part of the day.'_

Though we needed to discuss the body switch, we also still needed to have our talk about 'us'. I couldn't believe that it was the man in our situation who wanted to talk about feelings and the woman who kept avoiding it. Wasn't it usually the other way around?

"Sookie..."

"Eric..."

We both said each other's name at the same time and smiled at the awkwardness. "You first," I said.

She nodded. "I know we need to fix this, and the timing is probably the worst possible, but I think I'm ready to have our talk."

My eyes widened. She was ready to talk as well? My smile also widened and I motioned for her to sit beside me on the couch. She tensed.

'_Has she decided against us? Does she not want to be near me?'_

"Come sit, Lover. I will not bite. You are the one with the fangs, after all."

She relaxed and smiled again and sat with me on the couch, though she still kept her distance.

"I have some questions, if you don't mind," she started.

I nodded for her to continue and she took a deep, unnecessary breath. "What do you want from me?"

***

**A/N: Up next – The talk!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I've had this chapter basically written for a few days but have been so focused on watching figure skating at the Olympics (Oh my god, Joannie Rochette – TEARS! So amazing.) But since all that's left is the Exhibition Gala, I got around to tweaking it. Speaking of the Gala, since only the top 5 (plus all Canadians) get to participate, it will sadly be without Johnny Weir skating to Lady Gaga. Seriously – YouTube his Poker Face. It's everything you'd expect it to be and MORE! **

**So anyways, here it is... 'The Talk.' It's not a humorous chapter though, and again, I'm not fully in love with it, but I like it well enough. But don't worry – the Pam, Amelia and the funny should return in Chapter 14, which is under way.**

**Once again, I own nothing, except my desire for Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir (the Olympic champion ice dancers) to decide they are in love, get married and have lots of beautiful babies who will take the ice dance world by storm. They totally deserve their own fanfics.  
**

***

**Sookie's POV**

I didn't know where to start with my questions. Should I start with asking if he meant everything he said earlier? If he wants me when I'm older? Does he even really want me or is it all just a game?

I opted to get some sort of idea of his intentions first.

"What do I want from you?" He asked my question to himself, "everything. Lover, you know that I have... feelings for you. I am not accustomed to having feelings, so this is unusual territory for me." I nodded, him having mentioned this before.

Eric continued, "I want your blood, as you can tell from your recent reactions to it. And not just because it's part fae, but because it's you. The fairy is just a bonus." That was weirdly romantic, and I couldn't help but feel charmed by it. I smiled softly and looked down in embarrassment at the sentiment. What had my life come to when my idea of romance was a guy enjoying sucking my blood because it came with a side order of my personality?

He smirked at my reaction as he continued, "I want to fuck you. I have always wanted that." I couldn't help but laugh. "That one I knew for sure" I responded, "and having experienced sex with you, I don't quite mind it either." Oooh, did I ever not mind it.

"What about my telepathy?" I asked, sobering. "Would you still want to have sex with me and have feelings for me if I were to suddenly lose my telepathy?"

"Yes," he replied simply and without hesitation. "Why?" I asked, "Isn't that what makes me so different and special?"

"Sookie," he said in exasperation, "yes it makes you different and special, but you would still be unique and special without it. It has been extremely useful and I have taken advantage of it, which is something I will try not to do from this point forward."

I raised my eyebrows at him and he continued, "I know now how hard it is on you, how used you feel, and how it is a bit of a curse. And unless there are dire circumstances, or we are threatened in some way or forced by my superiors, I will not request your skill unless you willingly offer it. Plus I don't like knowing that you're hearing people think of sex with me. I found myself quite angry, hearing the thoughts of what people want to do with these." He gestured to his breasts. "They are for my enjoyment only!" He glared at me, as if daring me to argue with him, before adding, almost as an afterthought, "and they do think quite atrocious things about you and my nature."

I smiled in joy at his statement of not abusing my telepathy. I had no issues with offering my assistance, but I didn't want to be needed just because I was a bit quirky. And I didn't much enjoy hearing people's vile fantasies or horrific thoughts.

"Thank you," I said to him, "it's weird but that's probably the nicest thing someone has said to me. Or done for me." I knew he would follow through with his promise. While Eric might withhold things, he wouldn't lie to me.

"But what about all of the vampire politics? No matter what you do, we both know that Felipe and Victor are going to abuse what I can do. And it doesn't seem like Victor will give up too easily on his attempts to force me to go to him."

"They will still ask for you, and whenever possible I am going to try to dissuade them. I will not always be successful, but as you said earlier when you were putting Victor in his place, I will be with you whenever you are needed, as long as you wish me to be."

'_So he noticed that, huh? I definitely do not want to go anywhere without a vampire I trust. And the only vampire I trust 100%, whether it's good for me or not, is Eric. And by default, Pam, though this Freaky Friday switcheroo does affect my trust a bit.'_

"Thank you," I said, quietly.

"And of course I will try to keep you out of my Sherriff duties as much as possible, though your presence may be required at some events."

I nodded, "I can deal with that, as long as I'm given notice and won't be left alone with any creepy vampires."

There was a pause in our conversation before Eric spoke.

"I have some questions as well."

***

**Eric's POV**

I was surprised with how our conversation was going. Sookie was being extremely agreeable, but it seemed that she had been giving these details some thought so knew what she wanted. I wanted to address some of our issues as well.

"You acknowledged our pledging to Victor..." I started.

"Yeah," Sookie said, looking odd, fidgeting in my body, "I've kind of realized that you meant well. I mean, it would have been easier for Victor to attempt to take me tonight if we weren't vamp married."

"I was looking out for you," I said before taking a deep breath and tugging on the hem of my dress in nervousness. '_Here goes...' _"But that wasn't the only reason I did it."

She looked at me curiously so I continued, "I have found that I want to be bound to you, by more than blood."

I heard a sharp intake of breath, so I knew I caught her off guard, "Why couldn't you have talked to me about it? Why did you have to just spring it on me? I mean, if it meant my safety I might have done it. Not enthusiastically or anything, but at least I would have known what I was doing. I mean, you're the only vampire I trust to try to do what's best for me."

I felt my pulse quicken. I knew she trusted me, but it was amazing to hear it to that extent. I calmed down, "would you have said that at the time?"

She thought for a moment, "Probably not, even though it was true."

"Do you only see our pledging as a political allegiance?" I asked, dreading the answer.

She thought again for a moment, "Not fully. I mean, I have feelings for you too. I just wish I could have gone into this... whatever it is... knowingly instead of being tricked into it."

'_She does have feelings for me... I knew she did... but what are they? Does she love me? I need to hear her say she is mine. But we have more to discuss.'_

"I think I should let you know that I when I was in your bedroom earlier I saw that you had made a list about what relationship with me would entail."

***

**Sookie's POV**

I tensed when he mentioned the list. '_He wants me, but a real relationship? He knows I'm considering it. What if he rejects me? What if he just wants to have sex and then leave me because I'm too insecure?'_

"You made some valid points on your list, Lover." I relaxed slightly that he wasn't going to make fun of me or flat out reject me, but was still tense because most of my list was cons.

'_If it's so valid, does that mean he agrees with the bad stuff?'_

He continued, "We have addressed some of the points, such as your fairy blood and your telepathy. And I think you know why I am so possessive of you. You are too damn appealing and you do not even realize how much everybody, not just supes, desires you."

I shook my head, '_he's delusional.'_

"You forget that telepathy is not required to tell the reactions others have to you, Lover."

I always seemed to forget about his freaky vampire senses. Which was kind of funny, because I currently had them. I felt my 'Crazy Sookie' smile slipping into place. I still didn't believe that I was as desirable as he said I was, though, but I just nodded to get him to continue.

"I also want to protect you because supes are aware of you, and that puts your life in danger. Whether we are together or not, you are still known to the community. I do not know what I would do if I lost you because I did not do whatever I could to keep you safe."

My smile changed to a genuine one at that. Not at the fact that my life was a walking death trap, but because he was so devoted to keeping me safe.

I decided to ask the next question. "Eric, I know you've been, well, you haven't had sex since you remembered our time together. But no matter what you say, I know that it is hard for a vampire to be with just one person. And you have constant temptation around you. I mean, even I was getting, you know, for Slutty McBloodbag! What if I'm not enough for you?"

"Lover, I have extremely strong willpower. I know how much monogamy means to human women. And if the thought of me with anyone else pains you even half as much as the thought of you with anyone else pains me, I will do whatever I can to ensure that I do not do anything to hurt you."

It wasn't a full 'I won't cheat' but I knew that he was going to do whatever he could not to. I wasn't delusional enough to think that if he was in battle far away from me and the bloodlust took over that he could fully restrain himself, but I knew he would try his best.

I nodded, knowing that was the best I could possibly hope for with a vampire. With any man, really.

"And I desire no other. For sex or for blood," he added. "The only time I will seek out another for blood is if I am experiencing severe bloodlust and do not want to hurt you by drinking too much, or if I am too far away."

'_Is it weird that we both kind of associate drinking blood with cheating?'_ I nodded at that as well, finding that to be a good enough answer, but I was scared about his answer to my next question.

"You know I don't want to be turned. What about when I start getting old and you aren't as attracted to me?"

I knew it was kind of crazy to be talking about events that were years away, especially since I never knew if I'd live to see the next day, but I wanted to know. This was one thing that really scared me.

He took some time to think about his answer. "Lover, you are part fae, which first of all means that you will likely age more slowly than the average human. As you age I may require blood from different sources because though you will no doubt be just as stubborn and strong willed as you are now," he smiled, "your body won't be and as I said, I don't want to hurt you. As for sex, I will take you and you alone as long as you are able to be intimate, even if that means you are 100 years old."

It was sweet but I wasn't fully convinced, "But I'll be wrinkly and saggy and not attractive!" He had basically insinuated that later on he'd have sex with other people, which was not okay, but again, I knew he'd try.

He sighed, "Physically your beauty will fade. But Sookie, do you think me that shallow? If I only wanted you for your beauty I would have lost interest long ago. It's you that keeps me."

The more Eric spoke, the more I began to realize something. 'My Eric' was real. He was a part of the big badass Sherriff. Yes he could be a bit of a jerk. And yes he could be inconsiderate. But he could also be the dream man who cared about my wants and needs, and who could, and would, consider me the most important thing in his life.

"My biggest regret about pursuing anything serious with you is children, Lover," he said.

If I had a beating heart I swear I would have felt it tighten at that. I had always wanted children. I knew it wasn't likely I could have kids with a human because I wouldn't feel right having sex with one. I also knew the world wasn't the safest place for a child with the way my life was going, though I knew Eric would do everything in his power to keep us safe. I felt my eyes start to water and before I knew it I was crying.

I could see Eric cringe at the sight of bloody tears coming from his eyes, but he just put a hand on my knee in comfort.

"I always wanted kids," I whispered.

"I know," Eric whispered back. "The one thing I can't offer you is the one thing you want most in the world."

'_Is it really? Maybe someday vampires will be able to adopt. Or we can use a donor because I sure as heck would not have sex with someone other than Eric if I was with him. But would I really want to have a child with anyone other than Eric?'_

I came to a big realization which really wasn't that shocking when I became aware of it. It was like I knew it all along. What was the point of having kids if I couldn't share them with the person I loved most in the world? Would I really be happy with a boring, safe life, knowing that Eric was out there?

"Having children is not what I want most in the world," I whispered before I knew it.

Eric looked at me. I could see a variety of emotions playing through my eyes, which were now his. Confusion, sadness, hope, love. Love?

"What?" he whispered with a raspy voice.

"I want you," I stated simply.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Alright, so I think this is going to be the second last chapter. Thank you guys so much for the love you have given me and my wacky story. I'm trying to think of ideas for my next story but so far – brain block. Anyways, prepare for Amelia, Pam and the end of 'the talk'.**

**Still not mine. Though if Eric Northman goes on sale, I'll pay top dollar!**

*******

**Amelia's POV**

I was so happy to get out of Merlotte's.

First of all I had to deal with Sam. He was not happy that Sookie left for more 'vampire bullshit.' And that she hadn't talked to him before leaving.

"That vampire is changing her," he had grumbled while running his hand through his shaggy hair.

"Yes he is," I had replied, "but they care about each other, more than either of them realizes. And come on, you know she'd be changing anyways with her involvement in the Supe world. Nothing that anybody could try to do could prevent that."

He just glared at me and I got to work, where things had gone pretty well until Bill showed up. Again. I had rolled my eyes as he waited for me to grace him with my presence. After ensuring that all of my tables were looked after, and heating up a blood, I sat at his booth.

And he whined.

I could barely handle it. I mean seriously! She broke up with you because you lied (a few times), cheated, raped her, almost drained her and misled her. Could you blame her? He was lucky that she still gave him the time of night! And I told him as much.

He just acted pissy, complaining about her moving on with Eric. Oooh, the big bad tall, gorgeous guy who is honest with her (almost to a fault) and treats her with respect and devotion. Yeah, such a horrible decision. Again I pointed this out.

He threw $10 down on the table and left without touching his blood. Jackass.

So I was quite happy when Sookie's shift ended and I could get away from the broody beasts. Plus it meant I could get to check up on our project.

I didn't wait in line when I got to Fangtasia; I was recognized so just walked in (one of the perks of having been in a sexual relationship with one of the owners, and being best friends with the Big Kahuna's pledged). I saw Pam sitting in Eric's booth and slid in across from her.

"Any news?" I asked, once we were alone.

"They have been alone in the office for about an hour now. They are either finally dead, fucking, talking or scheming. Or any combination of the last three."

I snickered as one of the waitresses took my drink order.

Pam proceeded to tell me in detail about what had happened with Victor while I amused her with my anecdotes about Bill and Sam.

We were both really just passing the time until something, anything, happened.

***

**Eric's POV**

I could not hide my sadness when I brought up children. I had not been overly involved in the lives of my children when I was living, but things were different 1000 years ago. I could only imagine what a hybrid of Sookie and I would look like, and the child's mischievous spirit. As I contemplated what could never be I saw that Sookie was crying. I cringed at the sight of the bloody tears falling from my eyes, but it was understandable, so I just placed a hand on Sookie's knee for comfort as she whispered that she had always wanted kids.

My voice was quiet as well as I sadly replied, "The one thing I can't offer you is the one thing you want most in the world."

After a moment's contemplation Sookie whispered so quietly that I could hardly hear her. "Having children is not what I want most in the world."

I felt my heart skip a beat. '_Could she possibly mean...' _I felt a myriad of emotions. Confusion at her statement. Sadness that I could not give her children. Hope that maybe she wanted me more than she wanted children. Love for this amazing woman who had endured so much in her life. "What?" I questioned, my voice coming out raspy.

"I want you," was her response.

"You want me?" I asked, trying to make sure I heard her right. "You..."

"I want everything you can give to me," Sookie interrupted, looking down at her hands. '_She's scared of rejection,'_ I thought to myself. "If it means only nights together so be it. If it means no kids, then I don't become a mother. If it means vampire politics, then I'll deal as best as I can, even though I don't like it."

I tilted her head up so she was looking at me as she continued.

"I could leave now and find a human, shifter or were. I could settle down and try to escape the vampire world. I could have kids and probably be happy." I growled as she continued, "But I don't want to settle down. I don't want to have kids if I can't have them with you. I don't know if I could be truly happy with someone else and living a 'normal' life, knowing you're out there and that I didn't give us a try."

My heart was pounding. '_Me! She wants me! More than anything else, she wants me.'_

"Sookie," I started, not knowing where to begin.

"I know who you are and what you are. I know we'd have so many issues that Dr. Phil could make millions just off of us, and Pam could submit all our problems to Dear Abby, but it's a small price to pay. I don't know what you want," she went on, "and maybe you'll reject me, but I think I'd have a lot of regret if I didn't let you know how important you are to me. I trust you with my life. I think I always have. And if you'll have it, I'll trust you with my heart."

She looked down again, fidgeting in her seat, having laid everything on the line, just waiting for my reaction. Sookie, who was usually so guarded and stubborn, had just bared everything to me. My mind briefly ran through all of the liabilities of the situation. I could say no and leave. Go back to my feed and fuck 'I don't give a shit about anyone' lifestyle. It would be so easy to do. She would get over it and I wouldn't have this huge vulnerability. I could call on her for her telepathy and not have to care about hurting her feelings. I could take Victor's or Felipe's offers for her possession. My vampire nature was leading me in that direction.

"Sookie," I said again, and she looked at me, a scared look that seemed foreign in the eyes that had belonged to me for over 1000 years, "you understand that to be with me would that things would not be easy." She nodded sadly, "but I love you too much to give you up to an easy life."

She looked up at me with hope in her eyes and a small smile on her face.

***

**Sookie's POV**

'_He loves me? He loves me!'_

It may have made others queasy if they knew what was going on, but I couldn't help myself. I launched myself off the couch and kissed him. It wasn't a passionate kiss full of tongues and fangs, more like a long peck, but I just had to kiss Eric, regardless of the body he was currently possessing.

He laughed as we parted just a few seconds after starting. "Lover, you know I find you gorgeous, and I know that I look like a god, but kissing ourselves is something I never expected."

"Shut up," I said, smiling at him, "I couldn't help myself. Besides, who knows how long we'll be stuck in each other's bodies and I don't know how long I'd be able to go without touching you."

He laughed again, "How long **did** you go without touching me, darling?"

When I realized what he was asking I had to look away, which made him laugh even harder. "Don't worry, Lover. I didn't last long either."

My eyes snapped back to his, anger flaring, "You... you did..."

"I only did what I'm assuming you did to me. The female orgasm is quite interesting."

I looked away in embarrassment again, "It was weird," was all I said with regards to male masturbation.

"Most definitely," he replied before waggling his eyebrows, "but most enjoyable."

This time I laughed back.

We sat in contented silence for a few minutes before I quietly asked, "Did you mean what you said?"

Even though he knew what I was talking about he decided to be evasive, "About enjoying your body? But of course, Lover!"

I shook my head at him, "You know what I mean."

"Look at me," he stated and I looked into the eyes that I was so used to seeing in the mirror. "You know I could never lie to you. Withhold truth, yes, but lie, never. So if I say something to you, you know that I am being 100% truthful to you."

I nodded. I knew he wasn't going to say those three words again until he heard it from me, but he did confirm it in a roundabout way. And I knew, just as he said I would, that he had meant it. Eric Northman loved me. Crazy Sookie, telepathic waitress from Hicksville, trapped in the body of a 1000 year old Viking god. He loved me.

"I love you too," I replied.

This time his lips crashed into mine. And the kiss wasn't quite as innocent.

***

**Omni POV**

The kiss was full of passion, all the love they felt for each other pouring out, holding nothing back. When they parted, Sookie gasped in shock.

"I can feel you!" She said, elated. She felt happiness, trepidation, desire and love flowing into her.

"Lover, I feel the bond again as well. You seem quite pleased that it is back. I assume I was correct in stating that you'd come to like it?"

Sookie smacked Eric's arm in jest, before resting her forehead against his. "I'm sure I'll still be irritated with it at times, but I missed feeling you." As she said this she was rubbing her hand on his arm, enjoying the feel of his strong forearms under her hands.

"I love it when you cannot keep your hands off me," Eric said before tensing.

"What's wrong?" Sookie asked.

"Look at me, Sookie," Eric said, sitting perfectly still. Sookie pulled back and looked at Eric, taking in his long blond hair, light blue eyes, strong chiselled features and broad shoulders. Meanwhile Eric examined Sookie's long blonde hair, delicate features, tanned skin and ample breasts.

They looked at each other with hopeful smiles. "Did we..." Sookie started hopefully. Eric laughed when he heard her voice and saw her mouth move. HER mouth. They were back.

Sookie's eyes lit up and a huge smile came across her face. "You're you! God it's so good to look at you again."

Eric just kept laughing at being able to see and touch Sookie again, "Yes Lover, it seems we're back to ourselves."

"But how? Why? What happened?"

Eric sobered and thought to himself. "Well darling, it seems we were once again ourselves after we declared our love for each other and kissed."

Sookie gasped, "You're right! Oh I'm going to kill them..."

Eric smiled at Sookie, "You can be certain that Pam will be paying for this, but she and your roommate they did find an effective means of getting us to admit our feelings, even though I do not quite approve. Especially since my child knows how I feel about witches."

"Yeah, but a body swap? A Freaky Friday? Oh my god," she suddenly realized, "and on an actual Friday? Couldn't they have found another way?"

"I am quite sure they could have. And I am willing to wager that your great grandfather was somehow involved as well."

"I'm just as happy with the outcome as you are, but still! My freedom was on the line today. They could have ruined everything. I'm not a vindictive person, but we really need to do something to get back at them"

Eric's smile turned to his signature smirk. "Lover, you have my complete attention."

***

**Uh oh! Pam and Amelia are in trouble... I know some of you were hoping for some switcheroo nookie, but I just couldn't do that. Eric probably could have, but Sookie never would, so a kiss is as far as I could take it.**


	15. Chapter 15

**And here we are: The end of the story. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, added my story to their alerts, and me to their author list. I really appreciate all the love and support. You guys rock! I still own nothing, but enjoyed playing with Charlaine's creations.**

**Thanks again everyone. And now... the revenge!**

*******

Amelia and Pam were examining and 'What Not to Wear'-ing the vermin when Eric and Sookie finally walked out of the office. Eric looked slightly dejected, while Sookie had an expressionless look on her face. They saw Amelia and Pam sitting in Eric's booth and sat next to them. Almost instantly a waitress arrived with Sookie's gin and tonic and a blood for Eric.

Amelia looked anxiously at Eric's sad face while Sookie glowered at Pam. "Sookie, what's wrong?" Amelia asked Eric.

"Eric and I have decided that we can't do this, whatever this is, anymore."

"What?!!" Amelia exclaimed anxiously, "You can't be serious." '_No! This can't be happening! They were supposed to admit their love for each other and kiss! If they don't... We have to convince them!'_

With no expression in her voice, Sookie replied, "I cannot be attached to a human, no matter how much I enjoy bedding her. It makes me appear weak and makes both of us easier to target."

"And I can't be with someone involved in such messed up politics, who can't give me children, who puts my life in constant danger..." Eric replied.

Amelia began panicking, "you can't be serious!" She shouted, piquing the interest of the vampires in the bar. At a glare from Sookie she lowered her voice. "Yes you guys have issues, but you're insufferable without each other." '_What are we going to do? What are we going to do? We should call Niall. Or will Pam think of something? I don't want to be stuck with Eric as a roommate!'_

"At least we now know what we're thinking," Eric replied.

"I am fond of the telepath, and she is obviously fond of me," Sookie admitted, "but you know me, Pam, I do not do long-term."

Pam's eyes widened. "I know it is not my place, Master, but are you certain you have thought this through thoroughly?"

"We have discussed our issues," Sookie said, looking at Eric, "And we have agreed to maintain a professional relationship. We will appear devoted and pledged when in the presence of other vampires, however other than that our only real contact will be based on maintaining her safety and our use of her telepathic skills."

Amelia shook her head frantically, "No, no, no! Sookie, you're okay with that?"

Eric nodded, "It's not like we've had much of a relationship anyway. I barely see him. He's always off doing god knows what. At least now I have closure."

Sookie smirked and waggled her eyebrows, "Lover, you are always welcome to my... what did you call it... 'Gracious Plenty.' I am still most willing to share your bed whenever you desire."

Eric rolled his eyes, "Yeah, cause having 'no strings attached' with a business acquaintance is exactly the kind of girl I am."

"The offer remains. Dance with me, Lover."

"I am not your lover!" Eric exclaimed with a sarcastic smile as he and Sookie took to the dance floor, leaving Pam and Amelia behind.

"What are we going to do?" Amelia asked, panicking.

"I don't know, Amelia. They seem content with their decision; although we know it was the wrong one. We need to strategize."

"We know it, and they know they love each other, but the spell! They are going to be stuck like that until they admit it. And they seem like they've made up their minds. Should we call Niall?"

"Do not mention that name in here!" Pam exclaimed in an angry whisper. "You are surrounded by vampires. And no, let us leave the Prince out of this for the time being. He will only be upset that the plan has failed. And I do not wish to have an angry fairy around."

"We can't leave them like this," Amelia whispered back, gesturing to the dancing duo. "I don't want Eric for a roommate. He'll be all moody and leering, and probably molesting Sookie's body all the time. And you probably don't want a 25 year old telepathic waitress for your master. And we can't tell them the details of what we did! We are so fucked."

Meanwhile, Eric and Sookie were trying to hold in their laughter as they danced.

"Pam is quite perturbed, Darling," Eric stated with a smile, "I can feel the gears in her head turning, trying to figure out how to fix this."

"Good," Sookie muttered, "She deserves to suffer. Amelia is completely frantic. Her thoughts are all over the place, trying to figure out how to fix this."

"Lover, you have no idea how much I want to kiss you and fuck you right now," Eric murmured in her ear, pressing her against the bulge in his pants, "It has been too long."

Sookie moaned, ignoring the fact that she was menstruating, "Definitely. But I want to play a bit more first. Then we can make up for lost time."

Eric growled in anticipation.

After the current song ended ('I Put a Spell on You' by Screamin' Jay Hawkins) they headed back to the table.

"You two always look brilliant together," Pam said, "Such a pity we will not be seeing it much in the future."

"So," Eric said, changing the subject, "We know you two made this whole situation happen. And you did it so we would work things out. Anybody willing to share how to fix it?"

Sookie glared at Pam and Amelia, "Yes, I did not enjoy being under a witch's curse the first time. I am very upset that I have been cursed again."

"Don't be so dramatic," Pam said, "It's not a curse. It's just a bit of magic to help you two sort things out."

"Which we did," Eric stated, "So why am I still a 1000 year old vampire instead of a telepathic waitress?"

'_You were supposed to admit your love for each other! That's what it was all about you dumbasses! Admit you're in love, kiss, maybe mess around a little... wait, that would have been a bit gross, but admit your love and then poof, back to normal. Being each other was supposed to let you know what you've done for each other. Show your love for each other. You were taking way too long and were annoying the hell out of us, even Niall! But noooo, you guys fuck that up and decide you don't want to be together and have totally shitted on our plan!'_

"So you two planned on switching us so we would admit to having feelings," Sookie angrily whispered, receiving confirmation through Amelia's thoughts as she glared at the witch and at Pam. "I do not have feelings. And involving Sookie's great grandfather... are you trying to start a war?" They had suspected Niall's involvement.

Eric's eyes widened as Pam sat back sourly, glaring at the witch, "So you decided not to let us work things out on our own, which resulted in my having to act all vampire Sherriff and risk me, well Eric, I mean, my body, being taken by Victor? And now that we have decided against your hopes we are trapped."

"Master..." Pam started as Sookie snapped, "I will deal with you later."

Amelia began crying, "We really thought that..."

"You did not think things through." Sookie whispered angrily. "I thought you humans believed in free will. We have made our choice and now cannot live our own lives because of a silly decision you made. Give me one good reason why I should not end your life."

"Eric," Eric said. "She doesn't need to die."

"That's true," Sookie said, smiling at him, "because though we're pretty mad at you guys, your plan worked."

Pam's eyes widened as she looked between Sookie and Eric as they both sipped their drinks, Sookie thoroughly enjoying her human beverage, while Eric sipped at his True Blood with distaste, missing human food.

"What?" Amelia exclaimed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that your plan worked," Sookie said, smiling lovingly at Eric. "We discussed things, each deciding that the other was worth it. We re-switcherooed about an hour ago."

Amelia was angry, "You evil... you really made me think that..."

"You deserved nothing less," Eric said, narrowing his eyes at her. "Your plan worked in getting us to be honest with each other, however it did put Sookie's freedom on the line and me as well, as Sookie was quite brazen in standing up to Victor while me. He may have reported my behaviour to Felipe."

"I'm still mad at you," Amelia said to Sookie as Sookie replied, "You did deserve it. What if I had decided that all the vampire stuff wasn't worth it? Or if Eric decided I wasn't worth it?" Amelia looked down, chastised, though mumbling to herself "If he decided you weren't worth it I would have staked his ass."

"Excellent acting," Pam exclaimed with a smile, "I admit that even I was fooled by your performance."

"You will still be punished, Pamela," Eric said as Pam looked at him in disbelief. "While I am pleased with the outcome of your experiment, the ends do not justify the means."

Pam looked chagrined before replying 'Yes, Master," As Slutty McBloodbag decided now was a good time to approach the table, dancing her way over.

"At least he'll be somewhat tolerable again," Sookie said hopefully as Pam offered a small smile back.

As Slutty McBloodbag reached out to caress Eric's arm he growled at her, stating "Stay away from me. You are a disgusting, vile creature and I will never touch you. If you value your body parts you will come nowhere near anybody at this table ever again." She hurried away.

"Or not," Sookie added to her previous statement.

"So you guys are together now?" Amelia asked, perking up again as Sookie and Eric smiled at each other. "What's next?"

"Next, we all strategize," Sookie said.

"For what?" Pam asked, warily.

Eric smirked deviously, "for how to get back at Niall without starting a war."

***

**The End**

**I had to end it there. No there will not be a sequel but I just thought it was a good place to end. And yeah, Eric and Sookie were a bit mean in their revenge (especially to Amelia), but hey, they did kind of deserve it. **

**Thanks again for joining me on this crazy ride. I hope you enjoyed the trip.**


End file.
